The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia Quotes

“Here’s a routine you can try this week. Write down the five senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. For each sense, name two things you love. You now have a list of 10 delights. At the end of each day, look at your list. How many delights did you give yourself that day? Make a goal of not letting a day pass without indulging a minimum of two senses with something you love.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

“The losses caused by dementia aren’t as clear as a loss by death. When someone dies, we know when it happened. We know how it happened. We take part in certain rituals to mark the event. Our sorrow is understood by others who offer condolences and support. Those things don’t happen with the slow but inevitable losses of dementia. What we experience is called ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss and the subsequent grief can come from two scenarios. Either someone is physically absent but emotionally present or they’re physically present but emotionally absent. They’re here, but they aren’t here.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

“Sorrow and grief become constant companions as we experience losses both big and small. Dementia has been called “the long goodbye” for a reason. Anticipatory grief is also a part of the caregiver’s journey. We know how the story ends from the day we hear a dementia diagnosis. We try not to dwell on our loved one’s demise, but that reality bubbles just below the surface of our everyday lives.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

“I like to remind people that dementia caregiving is a voluntary job. As harsh as it sounds, we always have the right to walk away. Nobody has to do anything. We may feel like we have no choice in the matter. But feelings aren’t facts. The fact is we all have the right to say no. I just want you to remember that there are other options. If it ever becomes too much, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself in the process. What is the value of the rescuer going down with the one in danger? Not to mention that you deserve to survive with a shred of sanity still intact. We caregivers are notorious for ignoring our own needs until we’re forced to take care of them. We go without sleep. We eat too much junk food or forget to eat at all. We don’t have time to exercise. We isolate ourselves because no one understands us anyway. We foster these habits at our own peril—and that of our loved one. The reality is that none of us is superhuman.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

“The fear brought on by a loved one’s dementia diagnosis is staggering. We’re on a bus ride down a congested street, and there’s no driver at the wheel. Here’s where we say that if you aren’t freaking out, you clearly don’t understand the situation. The future looms large. The most dire scenes play through our minds. We hardly know where to start. Much of our fear comes from feeling like we’re totally unprepared to take on the task ahead. Most of the time, we are totally unprepared. Have you ever watched someone else walk through dementia caregiving? Probably not.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One

“There are two main approaches that help during this period of changing roles: (1) recognizing and acknowledging changes as they occur and (2) allowing yourself to grieve what was and is no longer. Few approaches to change cause more pain than clinging to old patterns. The more we insist on having what has been, the harder it becomes to see the joy in what remains. And the good news is that there is a great deal of joy yet to come your way.”
― Gail Weatherill, The Caregiver's Guide to Dementia: Practical Advice for Caring for Yourself and Your Loved One