Boss Man Bridegroom Quotes

“I am desperately, hopelessly, crazy in love with you, Charlee Bag of Dicks. There’s no denying it, and there’s no stopping it. I was born with a piece of your soul inside me, and I want to claim it. Right here, right now.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“He flops a book on the table and says, “This book was pure crap.” “What?” Bram reaches across the table and gobbles up the novel to his chest. “How can you say that?” “The girl never gets pregnant despite Lord Frederick forgetting to pull out multiple times? Come on, they were fertile myrtles back then. There’s no way, especially since she already had two kids with another man.” Roark shakes his head. “Terrible story.” “You’re mad about Carissa not getting pregnant? Maybe she wasn’t ovulating. Ever think about that?” Bram argues. “Did you even read the story? The passion between them but the class difference. It’s a forbidden love.” “It was crap.” He points at the book. “Don’t suggest crap like that again. I like that good medieval porn that makes sense. Not this bullshit.” Bram turns toward me and asks, “You liked it, didn’t you?” I waver my hand. “Normally I like your suggestions, but this was a total DNF. Sorry, dude.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Smiling coyly, I say “Thinking about how I put my finger up your—” “Let’s not say it out loud, okay?” he huffs, cheeks turning red. “Let’s just know it happened and move on.” “It didn’t just happen.” I contain my smile. “It made you squeal.” “I did not fucking squeal.” He turns around, grabs the soap, and starts lathering me up.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Ten seconds,” Bram calls out and that’s when Charlee puts the guessing into full force, turning me bright red as her head bobs with answers right in front of my crotch. “Wet dreams, premature ejaculation, come on my face, coming on a face. Coming on tits.” She pokes my leg, looking straight up at me. “Is it come on my tits?” I. Am. Dying. A. Slow. Death. “No, okay. Cock clock. Penis . . . penis . . . penis . . . penis . . .” “Time.” “Mother-effer, is it pre-cum?” I drag my hand over my face and toss the pen on the coffee table. “Cannon blast,” I say on a squeak, my libido at 100 percent from the onslaught of her saying cock and come on my tits.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Bram steps up and says, “I’m going to put you two down as The Lemon Curdies because frankly, it makes me giggle so much that my penis jiggles.” “Can you not say shit like that?” I ask, dragging my hand over my face. “Why? You told me you laughed so hard the other day that your penis bobbed in the air a few times.” “Dude,” I say through clenched teeth, my face turning bright red.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Imissed you.” Warm arms wrap around me, followed by a kiss to the cheek. “God, you look good.” Bram steps away, observing me, his lip print still on my face. I wipe it off quickly and walk into his apartment. “I’m all for our bromance, but dude, kissing?” “I’m just so happy,” he says, slapping me in the ass with a thwack. “I haven’t seen my Rathy Poo Poo in a while.” “Don’t fucking call me that.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Are your butt cheeks sweating too?” When he doesn’t say anything, just stares blankly, I say, “Just me. Okay.” I nod.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Oddly, Charlee seems to know exactly what I need in my life to do the best work I can, which includes an occasional historical romance. A romance I stayed up late last night reading because I desperately needed to find out if Lord Eric finally claimed his wench. He did. On a pile of hay as their “mattress.” Carnal fucking. It was hot as shit.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Roark laughs while Bram hands us each a glass of milk with confusion in his brow. “What do you mean she called you a turd nugget? How dare she insult my little Rathy bear.” “Don’t fucking call me that.” I sip my chocolate milk and hate to admit but, damn, this hits the spot. I hide my reaction though, because I don’t want the boys to know I’m apparently going soft as well.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“This past year, Bram started dating my sister after apparently pursuing her for many years and when I say many, I mean ten. He was pining after her for ten long years and he finally made his move. It was a rocky start, and when I found out . . . boy, did I have words about it. I looked my sister, Julia, straight in the eyes and I told her not to fuck anything up with Bram because he’s the best man I know, and I wouldn’t stand for her breaking his heart.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“I nod. “Yeah, I’ve gotten into raunchy hand lettering.” He laughs out loud, his head falling back. “What do you mean by raunchy?” “Well, I started out with inspirational quotes, because that’s what all the books teach you. I like to write on blank cards and send them to people. Well, ‘Believe in Yourself’ was getting boring, so I took up more raunchy sayings. You know how ladies are now cross-stitching swear words? Consider that me, but with a calligraphy pen.” “That’s amazing. Tell me one of your favorites.” We move forward in line as I think about it. “Well, last night I made a sign for my bathroom, which reminds me I need to get a frame for it. It says, ‘Please don’t do coke in the bathroom.’” Linus chuckles. “That’s a reasonable request.” “I sent a card to my brother that said, ‘Don’t be a douche canoe.’ I drew a little canoe in the middle. He liked it a lot. There’s just something special about using pretty handwriting to say rotten things.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“I wake up looking like a wooly mammoth who had a rough night out, and I refuse to have to hold in my farts. They’re going to happen. It’s life.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“I want to be mad, I want to hold this against them, I want to be able to make them feel as bad as I do, because that’s what mature men do.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Tried what?” “Peeing standing. And I have to tell you, there’s something about standing while peeing that makes you feel powerful. No wonder men walk around with a sense of accomplishment all the time. But trust me when I say, it takes a lot of factors to make it work for a girl.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom

“Love is fragile. When it’s broken, it’s very hard to repair.”
― Meghan Quinn, Boss Man Bridegroom