I'm Your Emotional Support Animal Quotes

“In changing the definitions of words, we have lost all sense of meaning and, simultaneously, our minds.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“She was so racially sensitive and suffering from secondhand outrage, she had to protest.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“Dr. Drew has always said, “accept reality on reality’s terms.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“if you take people and you put them in a zero-gravity environment like astronauts, they lose muscle mass, they lose bone density. We’re taking these kids in the name of protection, we’re putting them in a zero-gravity environment, and they’re losing muscle mass and bone density. They need to live in a world that has gravity. When you—you need to expose your children to germs and dirt in the environment to build up their immune system.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“Where Are the Ads of Old? The granddaddy of them all was the Yuban coffee commercial, parodied so well in Airplane!, in which a couple is leaving a dinner party when the host appears and offers them a second cup of coffee. The husband, Jim, takes it. The wife, dejected and shamed, hangs her head like a dog that just got caught shitting on the carpet as we hear her internal monologue: “Jim never has a second cup of my coffee.” Her credentials as an adequate wife were just torched. This is the female equivalent of being cuckolded. She was cuckolded by coffee.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“There’s a general trend in the media (except on Fox News) to prove that this is an irreparably racist nation in which hate crimes occur every day. And comparing it to some magical land in your head that doesn’t exist, holding it to some impossible standard, doesn’t help. If America were a quarterback in the NFL, these assholes would declare, “Every incomplete pass is unacceptable. I have zero tolerance for incompletions,” rather than focus on his 70 percent completion rate.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“What I’ve come to realize is that in today’s society, being a victim, overcoming racism, and being “brave” and “fearless” are currency. In the ’70s, it was “Let your freak flag fly.” In the 2020s, it’s “Let your weak flag fly.” It’s a competition to see who is more “oppressed” and who faces more “adversity.” And it’s a competition where everyone is a loser, especially our society.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture

“After the 2016 election, USA Today sifted through over 3,500 Russian Facebook posts that were designed to create chaos in our system. The narrative on the news is that the Russians were trying to get Trump elected. While that may be partially true, what they were really trying to do was sow division. And, boy, did they find a way to do it. It wasn’t about trashing one candidate over the other. Only one hundred of the ads even mentioned Clinton or Trump.”
― Adam Carolla, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal: Navigating Our All Woke, No Joke Culture