Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick Quotes

“[A] flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“You’re not a child,” said Will, gently. “I won’t treat you like one. You’re asking me if this was your fault because you want to know what emotion you’re supposed to be feeling right now. Are you supposed to be beating yourself up? Well, that’s the wrong question. The world doesn’t care about your emotions.” “So what question should I be asking?” “Whether or not you would do it differently next time. Everything that happens matters only in terms of what you can learn from it going forward.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“behind every monster there’s just another monster, forever.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“The more they hate you, the more they love each other.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“People don’t want solutions. They want novelty.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“There are things people actually believe said Andre, and things they only pretend to believe because it's convenient. But over time it don't matter which is which, it all just blurs together.”
― Jason Pargin, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“The man who greeted her on the sidewalk was named Hank Kowalski. He was bald and had the eyes of a man whose favorite joke is just a shrieking child falling down a flight of stairs.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“I don’t think I could find the Philippines on a map.” “Yes you could, the maps have all of the countries labeled. That’s literally what a map is for.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“You hire the right people and trust them to get it done.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“Being against power is easy, Zoey, because you never, ever need to offer solutions or take risks.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“Zoey had several vices in her life, perhaps none more dangerous than her addiction to pointless arguments.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“They arrived to find the park was a train wreck. Literally; that was the theme of this year’s decorations, a locomotive accident with hundreds of gruesome fatalities. A line of smashed, overturned, and burning train cars—real ones, brought over from an abandoned rail yard—snaked through the park, partygoers shuffling around and climbing over them. Unsettlingly realistic corpses and severed limbs littered the ground. Massive zombie buzzards the size of pterodactyls swarmed overhead and occasionally swooped down on tattered leathery wings, snatching up some body part in a jagged beak and hauling it back into the sky. Again: Devil’s Night was not for kids.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“She needed to remind herself not to accidentally press the spot on the seam of her T-shirt that would make the cat start singing a sea shanty consisting entirely of meows.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“everyone has a blind spot that they avoid so strongly that they don’t even feel the blade slipping into it.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“if one possessed the skill to craft sufficiently elaborate and convincing lies, then no other skills were really necessary.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“If you’re not acclimated to it, it’s pretty much like an American from Wisconsin trying to infiltrate a terror cell in Sudan—they see you coming a mile away.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“The victims smelled smoke. They all wanted to get out but they didn’t hear an alarm. The alarm, in that situation, wasn’t there to announce there was a fire—they knew there was a fire. The alarm was there to give them permission to get up and leave. Nobody wanted to be first, the social pressure kept them glued to their seats. Well, mass violence works the same way. It just takes one person to be the fire alarm, to give everybody permission to go wild.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“He was bald and had the eyes of a man whose favorite joke is just a shrieking child falling down a flight of stairs.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“Fear was interest paid on money you didn’t even owe.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“Will was an unreasonably white man in his late thirties wearing a suit the color of a wet sidewalk and the expression of a man who’s just realized the wetness is piss.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“When you get sick of what’s in front of you, yeah, fixing it is never as appealing as just walking away and starting fresh. It’s the reason the landfills are choked with stuff that could easily be repaired and it’s the reason action movies are always about killing psychopaths instead of helping them get better mental health meds.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“Dogs are too easy, they love anybody. A dog will love a stranger. A dog will love a log that sort of smells like a person. Cats make you earn it, it means something when they finally come around.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“The next morning, October 31, marked the beginning of the family-friendly part of the holiday. That’s when the mischievous gifts from under the Halloween Tree were handed out by hungover adults. The rule was that if your gift was actually thoughtful or useful to the recipient, you had failed—these gifts were to be tasteless and worse than useless. They were also extremely difficult to shop for, you had to know a person pretty well to know exactly what they hated. For the kids, there were baskets of booby-trapped treats (say, a batch of six caramel apples, only one was secretly an onion). Everyone either had a separate costume for that day, or a tasteful modification to their Devil’s Night outfit for the traditional haunted houses and trick-or-treating.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

“there was a reason Zoey had downed a fairly large antianxiety cookie before anyone had arrived.”
― David Wong, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick