God-Level Knowledge Darts Quotes

“Also (and most painfully) the loss of a pet is one of the worst feelings you’ll ever have and it never goes away, so you’ll have to get used to not crying in public when you see another dog take a shit the way your pooch used to.”
― Desus, God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx

“Gotta remember that in the Dark Ages, people were getting married at age 7 and had to farm turnips or dig coal or kill dragons or something along those lines. Fast-forward to the industrial revolution and you had 14-year-old coal miners working a full shift and getting black lung. Yet my generation thinks we’re tougher because we rode bikes without helmets. FOH.”
― Desus, God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx

“but rather a soft mellow one that will make you appreciate the small things in life, like the horns on the song “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities. Especially at the 2:48 mark of the song. And now you’re in the club crying because you just realized that Capital Cities wants to keep you both “safe” and “sound” and that’s so beautiful because that’s all you ever wanted in life for everyone and then your friend”
― Desus, God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx

“Speaking of wild conspiracy theories, did you know that all animals in zoos belong there because they’re political prisoners and we humans worked out a treaty to keep them in exchange the other wild animals don’t take over? Heard this in my barbershop so I know it’s true.”
― Desus, God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx

“BUT MERO, WHAT IF MY PARTNER AND I REACH OUR ‘GOAL’?” CONGRATULATIONS, HYPOTHETICAL PERSON! THAT ISN’T POSSIBLE. ONCE YOU REACH A GOAL, SET A HIGHER ONE. REACH NIRVANA, MY GUY.”
― Desus, God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx