I DON'T NEED YOU Quotes

“When they are intimate with each other, they do not feel that they have lost their autonomy. Likewise, when they appreciate the autonomy of their individual selves, they feel more loved.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Surrendering yourself, or the idea of it can be daunting to codependents because they come from a place of neglect and abuse. But, on the other hand, trust is not built in a day. It is a process, and in order to move towards it, you have to learn to let go. Reality is more often than not painful. Even if everything is going well, there will be moments when you will think that something is missing, but that is okay. Your life is not meant to be perfect. You need to accept everything realistically because only then can you live effectively. But letting go doesn’t mean you should not make goals. It simply means that you should not try to control the outcomes.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“As already mentioned at the beginning of this book, your childhood plays a big role in shaping you or even making you a codependent person in the first place. If you were not attended to in your adolescence or childhood years, then you will become needy when you grow up. So, sit down and think about the events that traumatized you when you were younger because this will help you figure out the root cause of your problems. You will come to know where your emotional dependency stems from.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Codependents usually use self-criticism as a form of coping mechanism that helps them get through extreme circumstances, but this habit is not at all healthy. It is like self-abuse. You gradually become an emotional sadist to yourself. When there is no presence of compassion in your life, you use this emotional sadism as a form of an escape route. But you need to overcome the practice if you want to embrace yourself and feel happy.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“This comes from a place in your mind where you have given up on supporting yourself, and so you rely on outside influences. The moment you cow away from expressing yourself, you are bound to feel helpless. But when you explain your desires, feelings, hurt, frustrations, needs, and even shame, you will be aware of the feelings going on inside you. You will be seeing yourself in light of self-compassion.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“If you have had shaming adults in your life, then you must have faced difficulty in acknowledging your feelings, let alone express them. When you become an adult, your childhood experience of shame hinders you from taking action towards personal growth. You need to remember something. Your growth will be stagnated the moment you cow away from taking self-affirming actions. Your self-esteem will not be built in a day. There will be obstacles, and you have to be determined enough to overcome them all. You need to put yourself first and make the necessary decisions.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“The moment you start accepting yourself for the person you are, half of your problems will be solved. If you do not accept yourself, you cannot really change because then you will be in constant conflict with your reality.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“So, if that ‘Pusher’ voice in your head urges you to get more things done, you don’t necessarily have to listen to it. You don’t have to become a slave to complete your to-do lists. Do your work at your own pace. It is also true that the ‘Pusher’ is only looking forward to making you better at what you do, but sometimes there is too much to do, and the time is less. So, taking up too much work only makes you stressed.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Codependents usually learn how to be self-sufficient in life, and this is because no one ever took care of them as a child. Their emotional needs were denied right at their faces. Even if some of them are aware of their needs, they feel humiliated to ask for help from someone else.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“While growing up, if the codependent person was neglected, then the physical needs of that person were never taken care of. Alternatively, if he/she was raised in an abusive household, they never felt safe, and now, they don’t realize that it is a prerequisite of all relationships. So, if you ask a codependent about his/her needs, whereas all their life, they were shamed or abused for it, then it will be similar to ask a blind person what is present in front of them.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“They are in an endless loop of denial about their own feelings. They can only understand physical pain but not the pain that results from emotions. This is because while growing up, they weren’t taught to acknowledge their true feelings, or when they tried expressing them, they didn’t feel safe. So, eventually, they shut themselves off and went into denial about what they are truly feeling. When they are in denial, their pain from repressed feelings keeps accumulating over the years. Denial of feelings also brings about inappropriate reactions to situations and, in turn, creates more problems.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“The reason why people go into denial is pretty simple. People set it up as a defense mechanism. The first line of defense that your brain sets up for any crises that come your way is denial. No one does it on purpose. It happens unconsciously. The brain will actually put it in front of you in such a manner that it will seem non-threatening to you at the time. Subsequently, you alter the way you see things so that you are protected against getting hurt or overwhelmed. Here are some of the common reasons why people prefer to be in denial – To Avoid Difficult Emotions Codependents go into denial to avoid any feelings or thoughts that might lead to pain if they were asked to come face to face with the facts of your life.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“When children do not receive the attention they deserve, they often grow up to ignore their own feelings. They start suppressing all their thoughts and needs. When no one pays attention to them, they start thinking what use would it be to bother about expressing their needs and feelings. In extreme cases, it also happens that the child shuts himself/herself off because they fear they will be punished for speaking up. Since parents fail to take up any kind of responsibility whatsoever, the children start blaming themselves for everything wrong and take responsibility for their parents’ mistakes. This behavior torments them for their entire life, and all their future relationships are plagued by this.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Children have the habit of depending on their parents, but parents are not always dependable, and that is what hurts the kid and makes him/her emotionally wounded. This hurt has to be healed and confronted; otherwise, the child will grow up to be in the same situation as his/her parents. Codependency is stemmed from love, and there are healthy ways in which you can overcome it. But if you cannot detach yourself at the right time, then you will have to endure a rollercoaster ride with your partner.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“When people don’t acknowledge their anger, it often starts bottling up and ultimately bursts leading to expression in the wrong manners. When anger remains unexpressed for a long time, it turns into resentment. When people have unhealthy role models in their childhood years with both or either of the parents being aggressive, the child grows up to have serious anger issues. You need to channel your rage into something good in order to get out of the cycle.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“The relationship gets negatively influenced by caretaking as the codependent person treats the other person like a child who doesn’t have to grow up ever.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Sometimes, the internalized shame is gained from parents in the childhood years where the parents transfer their shame onto the child either through nonverbal behavior or verbal messages.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again

“Codependent people don’t really have a choice because their mindset is such that they cannot say no to anything. They do not help out others because they want to. Rather, they help out others from a state of fear, guilt, or insecurity.”
― Elisabeth Cloud, I DON'T NEED YOU: Love Without Codependency...Fight to Never Be in a Codependent Relationship Again