Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder? Quotes

“The emptiness a BP feels is far more profound than what you and I experience. While we can hopefully convince ourselves that our feelings of emptiness are temporary, and therefore manageable, the BP considers them hopeless and infinite. In all-or-nothing fashion, they have a nearly impossible time seeing beyond the gloom until their mood swings the other way. Mistrust As you can imagine, if your spouse is constantly terrified of abandonment, they may not be able trust you. Trying to tell a BP that you love them is like quenching their thirst with an eyedropper. The moment you give them a drop, they immediately crave more. When you balk at delivering an endless supply, they mistrust your motives and attack you.”
― Robert Page, Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder?: Understanding the Roses and Rage of BPD

“According to Stop Walking on Eggshells, a BP experiencing this symptom will feel the following: --There is “nothing to me” --They are different people depending on who they are with --Being alone leaves them without a sense of self --They are dependent on others for cues about how to behave, what to think, and how to be”
― Robert Page, Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder?: Understanding the Roses and Rage of BPD

“For reasons that are unclear, the BP doesn’t develop in the same way. Their self-image stopped forming before it was able to fully take hold. I know this is difficult for a non-BP to grasp, but try to consider how terrifying it must feel to not be sure that you exist except for how others see you. Take away “others” and what happens to a BP? Poof! They see themselves as obliterated.”
― Robert Page, Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder?: Understanding the Roses and Rage of BPD

“Talking to a BP in this state is incredibly confusing for a spouse. Attempts to address recent conflicts or bad behavior are met with blank stares or even complete denial. The BP can, at least temporarily, rewrite their history to conveniently omit the negative bits. To you and me, it appears that the BP is flagrantly lying. We ask ourselves, “How could they not remember the awful things that were said and done?” Surely, the BP is playing a game, right?”
― Robert Page, Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder?: Understanding the Roses and Rage of BPD

“After several of these counseling sessions, she would become enflamed at me for sharing negative descriptions of our marriage. Remember, a BP doesn’t accept shades of gray. If I insult any part of our union, she interprets this as a statement that I don’t love anything about”
― Robert Page, Could Your Spouse Have Borderline Personality Disorder?: Understanding the Roses and Rage of BPD