Aunt Epp's Guide for Life Quotes

“Your nakedness is the work of God the Creator. Let men admire it--and grow religious between your sheets.”
― Elspeth Marr, Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: Miscellaneous Musings of a Victorian Lady

“Good, strong knickers underneath your nightgown will inhibit access to the fertile crescent.”
― Elspeth Marr, Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: Miscellaneous Musings of a Victorian Lady

“If you have not died in the womb, or fallen prey to infant mortality, or to a young girl's greensickness, or to the dangers of childbirth, or if persistent pregnancies and perennial breeding have not worn you to a shadow, and you have not dwindled into a premature grave, then if war, sickness, accident or disease all keep their distance, your chances may be strong for a long life.”
― Elspeth Marr, Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: Miscellaneous Musings of a Victorian Lady

“History is not what happened but what you are told has happened, irrespective of what is true.”
― Elspeth Marr, Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: From Chastity to Copper Kettles, Musings of a Victorian Lady

“You must be ready to stay up late to follow it, to begin your conversation with the owl and end it with the cock.”
― Elspeth Marr, Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: Miscellaneous Musings of a Victorian Lady