Memoirs and Misinformation Quotes

“If done right, kidnapping can be a positive experience for everyone.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Chaplin had not merely impressed but formed him. Showed him how any gesture—a kiss, playing with some bread rolls—can be freed from the mundane, imbued with magic. Charlie Chaplin was always turning caterpillars into butterflies. He had used comedy to reveal, and not flee, the truth of the human predicament. He’d roller-skated blindfolded over the void, like a planet circling a black hole. He filmed a factory worker sucked into a machine, fed through its cogs and gears, assailing an age that turns people into things. And Charlie Chaplin had battled the bleak world with—what? Not a knife, not a gun. A cane. Gentle, gestural, the baton of a maestro. Chaplin’s cane, with no disrespect to Hockney, Picasso, or Basquiat, was, in this moment, what Jim Carrey most wanted to save.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Why, Katie wondered, eyeing them at the altar, is false love so proud, and true love so fearful?”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Might they one day reconstruct the ruins of the mind as well as those of the body?”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Once, we were artists. Pure! But we, all of us, we became a distraction, compromised for the sake of fame, comfort, the approval of strangers. We spend our lives pursuing something as empty as `relevance' and they use our fear of losing it to corral us. Dirty Malaysian money. Saudi money. We'll take it all. What went wrong? We sing and dance not to entertain but to distract people from the crushing gears of a capitalist machine that has no ideals save for greed and violence. And let's not kid ourselves, Hollywood is the best PR firm the gunmakers ever had. What a sick culture." "But what about artistic beauty?" asked Cameron Diaz. "When you can perceive beauty there's no excuse for serving ugliness. For aiding cons, inflaming desires, promising everything and delivering nothing. It doesn't matter what you put on TV because people are so frightened and lonely they'll watch it just to hear human voices and feel like they're not alone. They're so beaten down all they need is a soccer tournament every four years and they stay in their place. This is not a society. This is a system of soul-murder. And history will not be kind to us for our complicity, because we know better. The executives"—he nodded Maoishly to the Disney team —"they can say they were serving their god Mammon, but we artists can't. We're all East German playwrights now, complicit with the regime! And there will come a time of judgment. We're destroying the planet. This cannot last.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“The world he saw on the news came to seem like a genre-fusing farce, its story lines ever less plausible, ever more dispiriting. The world of the chamber, by contrast, was all impressionist masterworks, images and plotlines manifestly finer and more nourishing than what, of late, was passing for the real.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Anyone can rejigger an atom bomb,” said Hopkins. “But to possess the minds of millions? To make them your willing zombies across a whole decade? That’s real magic.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“The American citizen is so lost he doesn't realize he's a factory pig. Drugged and poisoned from the cradle to the grave. Chained to impossible debts. Never ever free. Liberty? Bah! This is a land of invisible fences, we're all prisoners watching Capra on movie night. But nothing lasts forever. Europe's monarchies sent their sons to die in the trenches of the Somme just as surely as we drove Chiang Kei-shek into the sea. You think America will be different? You think this era, one not of consumption but of gluttony, will last forever? It will not...”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“He knew factories. No one had fun in factories. They sweltered and slaved, hunched and harried, people reduced to things, manufacturing so much meaningless plastic shit that made no one happy, poisoned the oceans, corrupted the food chain.
The modern world was a burning bus speeding toward a cliff with a maniac at the wheel. And he was not apart, but complicit, a hyperactive child making yuk-yuks in his seat, keeping everyone laughing, distracting them from certain doom.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“We're going six thousand miles an hour around the sun and nobody's driving this bitch!" said Gary Busey from the woods, where, for his own reasons, he was halfway up an eighty-foot pine tree.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Human things have long since jumped the shark.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“All of life is a series of interlocking games, mainly meaningless, perhaps rigged,” she told Nancy. “Some have rules we know; most have rules we do not. Are we being guided to some higher state? Or just forced from game board to game board for no end at all? The only way to know is to do what the games demand; I did only what the game demanded.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“As his central air system, set to maintain an internal temperature of sixty-eight degrees, drew on generator power and sent a final burst of air through the house, whipping the shattered home into a proper inferno, Carrey began to barter with the cosmos for salvation.
He'd repent, he swore. He'd renounce all earthly delights. If it was fun, he'd avoid it. He'd change his name to Francis, or Simon Peter. And if the cosmos wanted to throw in some special power or skill, like healing the sick or talking to birds, something to distinguish him from others in this new field of endeavor (and also maybe a small group of followers, nothing huge, but dedicated followers), well, all that would be appreciated.
Unnecessary, but appreciated.
"Save me," he prayed, cowering. "Please.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“It doesn't take care of its sick, doesn't care for its poor. Doesn't protect its children. Abandons its veterans and its elderly. America's very God is a fraud, invented by marauding settlers to justify native genocide, a savage deity blessing a savage people, forgiving the napalming of babies in Vietnam, the starvation of five hundred thousand Iraqis in our own lives. And who at this table lost five seconds even thinking about that? No, we drown that out with our positive personal affirmations. We don't even look after our own. The people who work fifteen hours a day doing our makeup, hair, and wardrobe have to invoice the studios six or seven times before they get paid. They beg while someone siphons interest off their money. And whose fucking idea was a fifteen-hour day in the first place?”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“The modern world was a burning bus speeding toward a cliff with a maniac at the wheel. And he was not apart, but complicit, a hyperactive child making yuk-yuks in his seat, keeping everyone laughing, distracting them from certain doom. Faster, faster, no more room to brake.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“If it's all so innocent what's the problem? We live in a crumbling multiethnic Ponzi-scheme society requiring a highly policed cultural environment to avoid outright chaos. That's the problem.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Well, necessity is the motherfucker of invention, man.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation

“Shit my pants, see how long it takes them to notice.”
― Jim Carrey, Memoirs and Misinformation