Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse Quotes

“He gave me a crooked smile. God, he could charm me even when I wanted to throttle him. "Life is short. It's your decision how you deal with this. Let's forgive, forget, and move on."
That comment doused the charm. "Why is it that when a man screws up, they always pull out the forgive and forget card? And you're right, it is my decision how I deal with this. But it was your decision that got us here in the first place! Yes, life is short. Too short to deal with BS like this."
"Nothing is going on." He threw his hands in the air. "I don't even remember that woman's name. I was sitting at the bar and she sat next to me. We shot the breeze for a few minutes. She had foam on her lip and I wiped it off. That's it."
"Well, maybe I want to wipe some foam off of some hot tourist's lip and shoot the breeze."
"You better not!" His jaw clenched.
Typical double standard.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“Behind the counter, I placed the pre-sliced pumpkin cheesecake with caramel pecan topping into the refrigerated glass display case. My cheesecakes were a thing of beauty. The delicate, spicy ginger-cookie crust gave the bottom a nice firm bite at the end of the airy whipped cream-cheese filling. It boggled my mind as to why people only indulged in delicious pumpkin once a year. Not at our diner. You could get a cup of pumpkin-and-black-bean soup with lump crabmeat or shrimp, or a spiced pumpkin muffin, on certain days of the week throughout the year. We attempted to rotate our daily offerings to keep them fresh and desirable.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“I assembled the breakfast while Sam set up the coffee urns. I arranged one platter beautifully, with peach rolls, apple cider doughnuts, mixed fruit turnovers, and healthy slices of cinnamon streusel coffee cake. On the other, breakfast burritos---Eddie's favorite---mini spinach and crab quiches, and bagels with smoked salmon, cream cheese, and chives.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“I'm not sure we'll have much to your liking, other than the roasted vegetables. We Southerners are all about refined sugar and flours."
"You don't eat sugar or flour?" Sam's eyebrows reached his hairline. "God, what else is there? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a carnivore through and through, but I couldn't live without breads and desserts."
"Sam!" Poppy gave him a disapproving look. Maybe she could polish my brother, although I doubted it.
Javier ladled several scoops of chicken and dumplings onto his plate. "I try to eat clean. But it's not as if I don't ever splurge. I love a grain-free veggie pizza with no cheese."
The table gasped.
"Veggie pizza with no cheese!" Meemaw looked appalled. "That's not pizza! What's the point without the cheese?"
Javy passed the tureen to Betsy, who scowled at her grandmother. "It's still pizza, Meemaw. I might try that sometime."
Alex choked on a sip of tea. I elbowed him as Betsy leaned around Javy to glare at her cousin.
"I agree that on occasion, you gotta splurge."
Alex laughed under his breath. "Cheese is your favorite food group, Bets." The idea of Betsy eating clean really seemed to tickle his funny bone. He was lucky she wasn't sitting closer to him. He'd pay later.
Her knuckles were white as she gripped her knife. "And yours is beer foam."
The table went silent.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“I appreciated the text you sent me. I didn't even know that site existed. Riveting reading."
"Wasn't it, though? You really can get a sense about people when you hear from those closest to them."
"I couldn't agree more. In my experience, you can get a better sense by viewing them in their natural habitat." He glanced around the kitchen and dining room in my habitat.
Game on. I lowered my tone. "For a real education, you should have showed up early, Deputy Douche."
He gave a bark of laughter, drawing the attention of the whole room. "Javy, please. No need to be so formal."
"Javy," I cooed. "Best be careful." I put my hand to cover my lips away from the others, all secret-agent like. "When becoming too comfortable with your prey, you can get a false sense of security and become devoured in seconds, never to be seen again.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“This line of questioning is absurd. You don't like me, fine. I don't much care for you, either. Eddie does, so I'll be civil because you don't mean a hill of beans to me. But, I refuse to remain here and be treated in such a rude manner."
"Surely you wouldn't expect special treatment as the sheriff's daughter, would you?"
Betsy could do way better than this bozo. "Of course not." I placed both hands on the table as I leaned closer to him. "As you so thoughtfully brought back to my attention, not that I needed a reminder, I've had experience with insecure men who need to demean women to make themselves feel powerful." I smiled sweetly at him.
"What are you insinuating, Miss Brown?"
I'd hit a nerve. Good. "You're a smart fella, you'll figure it out.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse

“The next thing I knew, Betsy pulled out an old revolver and started shooting. Bullets went everywhere.”
― Kate Young, Southern Sass and a Crispy Corpse