Kane the Fake Elf & His Sexy Mall Santa Quotes

“I may be an elf,” I said with a smile that never failed to charm people, “but I'm not a stupid elf. I've got a college degree and everything.”
“In what?” the little girl asked. “Dumb elfery?”
I tried not to snort, but even I admit that was funny.
“No, actually the courses in dumb elfery were full so I had to take the ones in cute elfery instead.”
I pulled back and did a little spin, making sure the bells on my hat and shoes jingled.
“So, did I deserve that degree or what? I graduated with honors and everything.”
Emma did a circle with her finger, motioning for me to turn around again. I did and when I turned back, she was tapping her chin.
“I think you should probably ask for your money back.”
― Candi Kay, Kane the Fake Elf & His Sexy Mall Santa