The Bucolic Plague Quotes

“Truth isn't beauty. It isn't even always true. Truth is nothing more than consistency of message.
I learned that from advertising.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“If you start buying your own bullshit, you risk becoming management material.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“I’ve always thought that one of the signs of true adulthood is when you realize that you spend each Christmas trying to relive childhood memories that never really happened in the first place.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“Gay men know that the way to a woman’s heart is through her son.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“For even more “sizzle,” instead of simply leading the goats out to graze as we usually did, I raced out in front of them, hollering an improvisational goat call that made me sound like a yodeling hillbilly. I turned back toward the barn and aw that the goats had stayed back, huddled together in fear in the barn doorway. They obviously preferred to skip dinner rather than get too close to the retard scarecrow suffering a grand mal seizure.

~The Bocolic Plauge, by Josh Kilmer-Purcell (2010), P. 214-215”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“As far as I’m concerned, the whole point of being with the same person for many years is not so that he or she can finish your sentences, but so that you rarely have to start one to begin with.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“While Martha’s skins fell off her tomatoes like a silk slip off a supermodel, our skins got caught in the deep folds and stuck stubbornly. It was like trying to peel leather pants off of a sweaty, hairy, fat guy.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“I figured he was adhering to the adage that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t make fun of the person paying the mortgage.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir

“Funnily enough, the sheer absurdity of owning a farm felt just as comfortable and wildly unpredictable as my drag gigs in nightclubs. I was excited again for the first time in several years. I had so many new dance steps to learn, so many new costumes to try on.”
― Josh Kilmer-Purcell, The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir