No More Christian Nice Girl Quotes

“But false niceness can never and will never produce an authentic, deeply meaningful relationship, just like weeds won’t magically produce zinnias.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“As long as the relationships are beneficial and in line with God’s Word, you have the freedom to associate with people of your choice.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13 nlt”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Examples of passive-aggressive behavior in relationships include repeated instances of: • Lateness • Procrastination • Forgetfulness • Sullenness • Stubbornness • Refusal to comprehend • Resistance to suggestions • Intentional withholding of needed information • Talking behind someone’s back • Hostile sarcasm*”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Firmly speaking the truth in love and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships will teach most people to treat you respectfully.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:38–39). Be careful how you interpret this passage because Jesus is teaching here that people shouldn’t retaliate with harmful words or actions of their own when they are harmed by others. Simply put, don’t seek revenge, but do seek to create healthy boundaries with other people.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“When you allow the immature to dictate the terms of relationships, you are giving them the green light to exploit, neglect, or abuse you.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Spiritually immature people wear themselves (and their friends) out with their foolish choices and words. If you cultivate close relationships with them, you will harvest truckloads of trouble, such as repeatedly being lied to, taken advantage of, and disrespected.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Immature people will not receive loving truth, no matter how gently you offer it.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“When you start thinking like Christ, you are guaranteed to sometimes make choices that offend and anger other people.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Jesus is most definitely not one-sided. He is the complete embodiment of healthy, balanced human personality; thus, Jesus is immensely compassionate, kind, and gracious while also being assertive, forceful, and firm when necessary. He is good, but he’s definitely not “nice” or as safe as many Christians want to believe.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“A lot of what people call nice behavior is really fear, cowardice, and even sin in disguise. Many women are nice not because they truly care about other people, but because they fear conflict and rejection. That’s not peacemaking. That’s peace-faking, and their God-given consciences have been telling them this truth for a long time.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“many people will only change due to desperation”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“in the Bible, neither God nor Jesus went around healing people willy-nilly. Whoever wanted to be changed had to cooperate in the process, and many times had to ask directly for what they wanted.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“The need is not always the call.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“You have the freedom not to provide an answer to every question that comes your way.

Jesus didn’t answer every question posed to him, and you don’t have to either.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“You are free to say no to an unfair, disrespectful, or dishonest request for your time, talent, or treasure, without an apology or long explanation on your part.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“You have the freedom to change your mind as long as those decisions are beneficial, in line with God’s Word, and don’t permanently harm the people around you.

The decisions you make about your life might hurt other people, but remember, there is a difference between causing someone necessary hurt and causing someone permanent harm.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Some women find it near impossible to rest because they equate taking a break with being selfish. But Jesus sequestered himself from others to get some much needed rest and refreshment.

Drivers who push themselves too hard for too long become a hazard to others. You have the freedom (and the responsibility) to rest.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“You have to set limits with “getting there” people, or they will tend to take increasingly large amounts of the energy, time, money, and talent God gave you to accomplish his purposes.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Courage grows when you act in spite of your fear.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Some examples of chips that you can give and/or receive at work include:

• Encouraging words, including authentic praise and the specifics of what was done well.
• Supportive words, including genuine empathy for difficult situations.
• Small talk, including asking personal (but not private) questions about family members, pets, recent personal events, etc.
• Sincere compliments on clothing, professional skills, or business sense.
• Sharing personal (but not private) details from your own life.
• Asking for the other person’s input, opinion, advice.
• Little gifts, like a cup of coffee.
• Thank-you notes. [...]

everyone with whom you interact keeps a chip bankbook on you. All day long you are gaining and losing chips with your direct reports, peers, and higher-ups. They know where you stand with them at any given moment, and you know where they stand with you. . . . One of the most important rules . . . is that we always make it equal in the end— that is, if someone tries to take away our chips, we will find a way to even the score. [...]

To manage your relationships in a savvy manner at work, find out who values what kind of chips, and then stockpile those particular types of chips with others who can help you be more productive and successful.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“if you are talking with a direct person, present your ideas in a straightforward, logical manner, but if you are speaking with an indirect person, use a more feeling-oriented, participatory style. [...]

when you find yourself having to tell other women what to do, your savviest choice is often to adopt their indirect style. That’s not being manipulative or weak. That’s being smart.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“If something doesn’t seem right to you, if it raises red flags, then listen to your gut.

Don’t listen to the anxious, people-pleasing part that wants you to ignore your intuition and just act nice.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“Repeatedly seeking wise counsel is a good thing; repeatedly seeking stamps of approval is a sad thing.

Why do [women] go from person to person asking, “Do you think I should do this?”

Answer: Because they want other people’s approval and/or their permission. This is little-girl behavior, and it makes women look uncertain, weak, and incompetent at work.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“[Women] who won’t say no for fear of offending someone will be taken advantage of and possibly even led into sin by spiritually immature colleagues and clients. [...]

Just keep saying no, graciously but firmly, even if they threaten to take their business elsewhere.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“The Nice Girl Culture teaches [women] not to interrupt other people and to wait to speak until called upon. Unfortunately, these are little-girl behaviors that do not translate into the modern world of work. Women tend to be quieter in meetings where men are present. When they let the men do most of the talking, the men will naturally get most of the credit.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“If you are thinking, My co-workers and I don’t compete, we are one big happy family, brace yourself for a cold splash of reality.

You can establish friendships in the workplace, but work at times will be a game with winners and losers. If you don’t realize that, you are being naïve, and you are going to get hurt and taken advantage of.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“[Women] tend to see the workplace as a network of connections where friendships are established as people cooperate to produce work. Nothing is wrong with that viewpoint until you realize that, by and large, the work world was created by men—males who tend to see the workplace as a field for competition”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

“I have observed that the minority of Christian husbands who do harp on their wives about their supposed lack of submission are often men who are emotionally, verbally, spiritually, and/or physically abusive.

These men pull out Scripture and use it as a whip to humiliate and control their wives. With verbal “sleight of hand,” this kind of husband uses God’s Word to distract his wife from noticing that the real problem is not her alleged lack of submission—the real problem is his abusive words, attitudes, and actions.”
― Paul Coughlin, No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends