Axel Quotes

“I like the bare look, babe. Your little landing strip thingy you have going on is cool, but bare is better. The club sluts always le…….” He stops speaking abruptly; I’m sure, because of the look on my face. Axel stands quickly and mumbles over his shoulder as he leaves the bathroom, “Be back in an hour.” “Where are you going?” I shout at him. “There’s a lady I have to go see again,” I hear as the front door slams behind him. The bouquet of flowers Axel returns with is gorgeous!”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“Gunner! Get in the fucking car! We have to go! Now! Right fucking now!” I yell, as I run around to the front of the vehicle and then back to where Gunner is since he is not moving fast enough for me.
Gunner bolts upward and takes off running for the house. I have no idea why. For some stupid reason, I think he’s bailing on Ava so I rush forward and tackle him to the ground.
“We have to go, Gunner! Get a fucking grip, brother!” I shout in his face while we’re rolling around on the ground.
“Get off of me, fuckface!”
“You’re going to the hospital and becoming a dad whether you like it or not!” I bellow in his face as he shoves me off of him and breaks for the house again.
“I dive and snag a leg, at least enough to send him headfirst back into the ground. I stand and start trying to drag him to the vehicle while he’s kicking at me trying to get loose. He lands a hefty kick, just as I bend over to grab his other leg and I take a shot to the eyebrow. Blood starts pouring down my face from the wound.
“Fuck! That shit hurt, Gunner! You ass!”
I can hear Loki going wild in the house, barking, and Mac is in the window running his beak.
He gets to his feet, again, and bolts to the house while I’m wiping the blood out of my eye. When he re-emerges a moment later, I punch him in the jaw. It rocks him back a step and I get a happy feeling in my stomach when I see a trickle of blood.
“What the fuck, Axel? What is wrong with you?”
“Girlie punch, Assman!” shouts Mac.
“Both of you, stop right now! What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Dad’s voice booms in my ear.
“He kicked me in the face!” “He punched me!” we say at the same time.
That’s when I notice the diaper bag and suitcase that Gunner is holding. Huh. Well, shit. That’s probably what he was running to the house to get.
“Where is Ava?” shouts Gunner, dropping the bags and running to the spot the SUV is no longer parked in.
“Bailey is driving her and Trudy to the hospital while you two jackholes decided to slug it out in the front yard!”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“You can stop laughing at any moment, Bailey! This shit isn’t funny!” I chastise her.
“You wanted it! You demanded it! Oh my fucking god, I’m going to pee myself!” she spouts in between bouts of laughter while she’s rolling around on her side of the bed.
“You could have been more insistent with your warnings, you know!” I pout at her.
“Oh god! I need to video this shit! Where’s my phone?”
“You make one move towards your phone, I’m taking you out!” I holler at her. This shit definitely does not need to be filmed!
Fucking Bailey is laughing too hard to respond. Insensitive witch!
“Just get this shit done! Now, woman!”
“Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, okay. Calm down. Okay, let’s finish,” she finally quits laughing long enough to answer me. She gets to her feet and ambles to my side of the bed before she starts roaring again. After another moment of her laughing at me, she calms enough to stand up straight again. I scowl at her but it doesn’t erase the tears of laughter that are still coating her cheeks.
“Okay, Ax. Only a few more strips to pull and then we’re done. Are you ready?”
“Fuck no, I’m not ready! Who the fuck is ever actually ready to have their asshole pulled off with strips of cloth coated in wax? Huh? Who? Tell me now, Bailey! Do you actually know anyone who has ever answered that question with, “Why, yes, I am ready for excruciating pain, bring it on, girlfriend?”[...]
“Thank every fucking god I know that Bailey refused to wax my ball sack like I first asked. Holy mother of all that is holy, if she had applied wax to them, I would have left it there until I died. No way is anyone pulling wax off of the twins. I am already pretty sure I’ll never get another erection just thinking about that kind of pain. I have a whole new respect for drag queens. They are tougher than I will ever be and I have no problem admitting that fact.
“Holy fuck! What the ever loving fuck was that for? Oh my fucking god!”
“Owwwwww! Make it stop!” I scream at Bailey when she rips a strip of wax and hair from my ass crack without warning me first.
The evil witch is laughing too hard to stand so she’s now leaning her forearms across my back while I twitch my ass right and left trying to get the burning to stop. I can feel her tears landing on my back. Holy shit, I’m never sitting down again!

“Holy mother of god! Fucking hell! Owwwwww! Woman, I hate you! Owwwwww! It burns like the fires of hell!” I shout as the last, thank god, strip is torn from my body. My colon may have just been removed also. I flop myself down on the bed and yes, I hide my face and allow a tiny tear or two to drop onto my pillow. Don’t judge me until you’ve been in this predicament!”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“Any other rules I must follow?”
“Yes and this one you will love! Fourth rule is that you, and only you, get to shave my ass. I like to keep it smooth as a baby’s bottom and it needs a little weed-whacking from time to time,” I inform her seriously.
The look on her face is priceless! I’m struggling not to laugh out loud now.
“You want me to shave your ass? Are you out of your mind? I am so not shaving your ass, Axel! Rule or not!” Bailey shouts and then collapses on the bed laughing her own ass off.
I grin down at her rolling around the bed, giggling. Best sound ever. Bailey doesn’t get this yet, but she’s stuck with me. And I’m thinking permanently.”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“Second, you may worship, fondle and generally love on my balls but they will never be placed in your purse. These bad boys are not purse balls.”
I pretend not to notice that Bailey is trying to hide a smile.
“Third, if anyone asks you about my junk size, you must tell them you call him Big Daddy for good reason”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“On to the good news, Bailey. We are officially a couple now. Me and you. Us. I’ve claimed you as mine. So see, using my truck isn’t a big deal. Couples do that sort of thing all the time. They share. So being the generous guy I am, I am now willing to be exclusive with you and share my possessions and my body with only you. How cool is that?” I state. And then I remember to add, “And you will be sharing your body with me. Only me. That’s a very important part of being a couple. An us, if you will.”
Huh. That’s odd. She’s not squealing for joy as I expected. In fact, her eyes have gone a little past squinty and now getting close to scary.
I, once again, deploy my best smile on her. And I’m still waiting for that joyful squeal.
“So, let me get this straight. You have decided that we are now officially a couple. An us. And you decided this why?” she asks.
Still with the squinty eyes! What’s up with that?
“Several reasons. I realized how much I like you in my life when I heard what happened yesterday. I could have lost you! That’s unacceptable. And Pooh made me realize that you are worth claiming. So, you’re mine now. We’re going to be great together, babe.”
“While you were deciding this, with Pooh’s help, did it occur to you to ask me what I thought about us becoming a couple? Maybe I don’t want to be tied down to one guy? Maybe I like you in bed but don’t want to be in a relationship with you? Huh? Did you think about what I might want?” Bailey asks me.
“Uh, well, I guess I just assumed you would want to be mine. I’m a catch, babe! Seriously! Quit smirking at me! I have a good job, the best dad possible, club members that are family to me and they like you already. I am loyal and would never cheat or hurt you in any way. I own my own home, bike, truck. No debt. And I can promise you lots and lots of orgasms. I would never deprive you of those. I solemnly swear you can use my cock, hands or mouth anytime you want to get off. I am a giver like that. So, why wouldn’t you want me to be yours?”
“Wow! At least you’ll be generous with your cock. That makes me feel better already!” Bailey sarcastically says.
“I solemnly swear that so you have no worries on that front. Use my body however you want. I’ll never say no to you. And whatever freaky fantasies you may have, I’m your guy. I’d like freaky, dirty sex with you.”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“When you look to your future, Ax, what do you want to see? What do you need to be happy?”
“Big fucking hairy balls!” screeches Mac.
“Already got those, Mac!” I laugh back at the damn bird.
“Don’t!” Mac insists.
“Do too! Want to see them?” I ask, standing and reaching for my belt.
“Abort! Abort!” shouts Mac as he struts away.”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“What’s your type, Bailey?”
“Well, let’s see. I like them tall, hot, muscled. A great ass is a must. A little scruff is great but I don’t like full on beards much. Not a suit wearing person. Not clean cut but a little rough. Someone who knows who he is and what he is about.”
“Hate to shatter your illusions, babe, but you just described me. Hah! Let’s go to bed and good luck trying to keep your mitts off my goodies!” I laugh at her.
“Oh my god! You are as full of yourself as Mac!”
“Doesn’t mean it’s not true. Name someone who matches your description. Who is your perfect man?”
“Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. That’s my type,” she grins at me.
The little wench is just trying to get a rise out of me. It’s working, too.
“Jax looks just like me except I have more muscle and shave my head. Everyone says that so we’re back to where we started. Am I going to get fondled in my sleep tonight?” I tease her.
“You wish, biker boy! Just keep to your side of the bed or you might end up getting junk punched[…]”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“So, we have a little problem,” Axel states, grinning.
“What problem?” I ask, confused.
“We have to have sex tonight” [...]
“Saaayyyyy whaaatttt?”
“Yup, true fact,” Axel says seriously.
“I’m not having sex with you!” I say way louder than I meant to.
“Why not? I’m hot, I’m a good catch and I have a magical cock.”
“You have a magi…wait, stop. Did you just say you have a magical cock?”
“I said it and it’s true. Magical. Beautiful too if the truth be known,” Axel goes on to say.
“Okaaay, that’s nice to know but why do we have to have sex tonight?” I ask, playing along with what I’m hoping is a game.
“Because I cannot do another night on that couch, I’m too much of a gentleman to make you take the couch and I’ve never slept in the same bed with a woman without it being about sex. I have to stay true to my cock, who, by the way is named Big Al and the boys are known simply as “the twins”, so we have to get down and dirty tonight so I can maintain my man rules.”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“Hi. I’m Bailey. Can you tell me your name?”
“I’m Mac,” he responds.
“I’m a Macaw,” he continues.
“I’m a hottie,” he crows.
O M G! Mac is now preening his head back and forth and ruffling his feathers. He’s stunning and he’s right, he is a hottie!
“Who are you?” Mac asks.
“My name is Bailey and I live in the apartment upstairs now. You are a very smart bird, Mac,” I answer and praise him.
“I is amazing,” he replies mangling the English language a bit.
I start chuckling because he’s just too much. I want to hug him and then run away with him under my arm. I’ve never even considered stealing something before but Mac, I would gladly steal. That thought is reconsidered when he continues talking.
“Big bazoongas, Bailey.”
“Uh, what did you say?” I ask, certain I misunderstood.
“Big bazoongas!” he screeches.
I think a parrot just embarrassed me! Oh my god”
― Lola Wright, Axel

“Hey you, big guy! That whistle for me? I’m down with that. I got game. It’s been a while since I have been a shitter hitter but if you’re offering, I can accommodate,” coos Axel.
I turn to see him standing near the open bay of the garage while running his hand seductively over his cock and winking at Corey”
― Lola Wright, Axel