World's Dirtiest Jokes Quotes

“Q. What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? A. Gang rape.”
― mad comedy, World's Dirtiest Jokes

“Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Jimmy Carter, all three of the living Democratic Presidents, are flying back on a luxurious fuel-guzzling private jet from a conference where they all collected million-dollar fees to speak on the evils of capitalism.  Jimmy Carter brought ten adorable young schoolgirls from his church choir to sing at the conference, and he insisted that they fly back on the top-of-the-line jet with the former Presidents. As the plane is over the Atlantic, they encounter terrible turbulence, rocking and shaking the plane.  Suddenly, one engine dies.  Then the other engine dies.  The plane begins to plummet toward the ocean below.  The poor young girls on the plane begin to cry. Jimmy Carter gets up to check with the pilots and returns with bad news.  “Gentlemen, we’re going down, and there aren’t enough parachutes on the plane for us and all the girls.” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and said, “Fuck the schoolgirls.”
― mad comedy, World's Dirtiest Jokes

“Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty about it all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said, “Dave, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go.” But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering, “Dave, you’re a vet…”
― mad comedy, World's Dirtiest Jokes

“Three explorers representing North America are traveling through the Amazon on a joint mission to search for diamond deposits.  The team consists of a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican.  The three of them have a less-than-friendly rivalry and are always looking for ways to demonstrate the superiority of their home country. Suddenly, a spear-wielding tribe surrounds them in the jungle.  The three explorers have their hands tied behind their backs and are led deep into the jungle to the tribe’s village. The explorers, having heard stories of blood-thirsty cannibals in the Amazonian jungle, beg for their lives. The tribe’s chief announces that he will mercifully free the men, but each man will be whipped ten times for trespassing onto tribal lands. The chief of the tribe says to the Canadian, "What do you want us to put on your back for your whipping?" The Canadian replies, "I will take some of my great Canadian maple syrup!" So the tribe puts his syrup on his back, and a large member of the tribe whips him ten times.”
― mad comedy, World's Dirtiest Jokes

“What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.”
― mad comedy, World's Dirtiest Jokes