Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire Quotes

“Your character and soul, intelligence and creativity, love and experiences, goodness and talents, your bright and lovely self are entwined with your body, and she has delivered the whole of you to this very day. What a partner! She has been a home for your smartest ideas, your triumphant spirit, your best jokes. You haven’t gotten anywhere you’ve ever gone without her. She has served you well. Your body walked with you all the way through childhood—climbed the trees and rode the bikes and danced the ballet steps and walked you into the first day of high school. How else would you have learned to love the smell of brownies, toasted bagels, onions and garlic sizzling in olive oil? Your body perfectly delivered the sounds of Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, and Bon Jovi right into your memories. She gave you your first kiss, which you felt on your lips and in your stomach, a coordinated body venture. She drove you to college and hiked the Grand Canyon. She might have carried your backpack through Europe and fed you croissants. She watched Steel Magnolias and knew right when to let the tears fall. Maybe your body walked you down the aisle and kissed your person and made promises and threw flowers. Your body carried you into your first big interview and nailed it—calmed you down, smiled charmingly, delivered the right words. Sex? That is some of your body’s best work. Your body might have incubated, nourished, and delivered a whole new human life, maybe even two or three. She is how you cherish the smell of those babies, the feel of their cheeks, the sound of them calling your name. How else are you going to taste deep-dish pizza and French onion soup? You have your body to thank for every good thing you have ever experienced. She has been so good to you. And to others. Your body delivered you to people who needed you the exact moment you showed up. She kissed away little tears and patched up skinned knees. She holds hands that need holding and hugs necks that need hugging. Your body nurtures minds and souls with her presence. With her lovely eyes, she looks deliberately at people who so deeply need to be seen. She nourishes folks with food, stirring and dicing and roasting and baking. Your body has sat quietly with sad, sick, and suffering friends. She has also wrapped gifts and sent cards and sung celebration songs to cheer people on. Her face has been a comfort. Her hands will be remembered fondly—how they looked, how they loved. Her specific smell will still be remembered in seventy years. Her voice is the sound of home. You may hate her, but no one else does.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“things. If I am lying on my death bed clutching decades of anger, regret, jealousy, and fear, I will be so, so sad. Nanea Hoffman, CEO of Sweatpants and Coffee, wrote: “None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“I decided that people-pleasing, fear, and politeness weren’t the hallmarks of a well-lived life, nor were their ugly companions: passive aggression, resentment, and dishonesty. I discovered the world is hungry for women who show up and tell the truth, unafraid and free, expanding to the very edges of who they were always meant to be.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Who you are matters. Your soul is cause for great delight. There is freedom in this discovery and absolute liberation in its ownership. When who you are on the inside matches the outside, you are ready for everything else.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“I’ve been so mean to my body, outright hateful. I disparage her and call her names, I loathe parts of her and withhold care. I insist on physical standards she can never reach, for that is not how she is even made, but I detest her weakness for not pulling it off. I deny her things she loves depending on the current fad: bread, cheddar cheese, orange juice, baked potatoes. I push her too hard and refuse her enough rest. No matter what she accomplishes, I’m never happy with her. I’ve barely acknowledged her role in every precious experience of my life. I look at her with contempt. And yet every morning, no matter how terrible I have been to her, she gets us out of bed, nurtures the family, meets the needs of the day. She tells me when I am hungry or tired and sends special red-alert signals when I am overwhelmed or scared. She has safely gotten me to and from a thousand cities with fresh energy. She flushes with red wine, which she loves, which is pretty cute. She walked the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, the red dirt of Uganda, the steep opulence of Santorini, the ruins of Pompeii. She senses danger, trouble, land mines; she is never wrong. Every single time, she tells me when not to say something. She has cooked ten thousand meals. She prays without being told to; sometimes I realize she is whispering to God for us. She walks and cooks and lifts and hugs and types and drives and cleans and holds babies and rests and laughs and does everything in her power to live another meaningful, connected day on this earth. She sure does love me and my life and family. Maybe it is time to stop hating her and just love her back.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Dear one, the wine is still good. If you are asking hard questions, it is because you love the wine. You believe it is good and marvelous and worthy of consumption. It has real lasting power. The wine has managed to woo every generation since time began. You are asking questions of the wineskins, which is wise and appropriate, because they don't last. They stretch as long as they can, but at some point, they have to be replaced so the wine can keep flowing.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Treat other women like your sisters instead of rivals.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“This culture is rabid to tell women how much oxygen they can use, space they can take, tables they can join, opinions they are allowed. Code words abound to signal when a woman has stepped too far: hysterical, bitchy, bossy, aggressive. (The man versions of these words are: energetic, strong, decisive, assertive, because “bossy men” are just called “leaders.”) Women have always struggled for a credible place at the table.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Lastly, physical freedom includes being comfortable with our physical desires, appetites, and changes that come with age. This means we don’t beat ourselves up for feeling hungry, or how our skin or movements change with age, but embrace them as part of the story of our self and body in the world,” wrote McBride.12”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“The King’s daughters are THE WORST. I only want to hang out with the King’s kitchen staff, because his internet daughters are mean as the Devil’s hell.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“I am not as good as my ego suggests and not as bad as my conscience admonishes.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Would you consider that the folks you admire most, the ones thriving in the career you want or living in a vibrant way that makes your heart swell are there because they asked for a lot of help along the way? And do still? They are not too proud to ask for assistance, admit when they are stumped, learn from other people, reinforce their weaknesses. Nor do they hesitate to share credit, pass the microphone, celebrate the victories of others, consider it a group win.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“The best people I know are constantly learning, putting themselves humbly under the leadership of others who’ve gone before them. This is no indicator of weakness but rather healthy ambition. That woman is unafraid of a challenge and cares enough about her own development to ask for help and secure the outcome she wants. Learners become our most effective leaders.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“I really handled your pain poorly. I was scared and ashamed, and I blew it. Please forgive me. If I could do it over, I would respond like this ____.” (Relationships mended by forgiveness are powerful things.) When we model honesty and apologies, our kids learn in real time how to construct a life on truth. We interrupt the toxic trajectory of pretending before it becomes rooted and thus a thousand times harder to pull up. Perhaps”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“It is fashionable to be an Internet Advocate where Woke Words generate a lot of buzz without the grind of any actual work. To be fair, words are quite powerful when challenging systems of injustice—we need them and they matter—but we also have to put our boots on the ground.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Truth is the front door to the life we’ve always wanted to build.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“This kind of woman also wants this freedom for everyone else; I cannot overstate this important correlation and how necessary it is right now. She craves a genuine world, a more honest and sincere community, relationships based in truth telling, to be refreshing to a parched world. She is not afraid of herself, so she is unafraid of others. She is fierce. She is free. She is full of fire.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Truth is the front door to the life we’ve always wanted to build. It”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“I want a legacy dripping with human connection, up to its eyeballs in memories and adventures and weathered storms and gladness. I hope to leave a wake of victory, a life of full integrity. I want to say it all, risk it all, own it all.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Cloud and Townsend suggest two questions to regularly ask the closest people in your life: What do I do that draws you toward me? What do I do that pushes you away?”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Most primary alliances can survive even the most brutal honesty; silent complacency is the kiss of death. When there is no fight left, no urgency to tell the truth or hear it, not enough self-respect to act with agency nor enough respect for others to respond to theirs, that is the real problem. More relationships drift into indifference than capsize from conflict. Practicing honesty and not overfearing confrontation is the mark of healthy people and their subsequently successful partnerships.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“If ever there was a moment to make sure our internal convictions were living loud and proud on the outside, it is in advocacy. Our sincere concern is useless lying dormant inside our minds. Here is where the rubber can leave the road, because compassion work takes time, energy, and sometimes courage. It is fashionable to be an Internet Advocate where Woke Words generate a lot of buzz without the grind of any actual work. To be fair, words are quite powerful when challenging systems of injustice—we need them and they matter—but we also have to put our boots on the ground. Eventually, we must champion our cause out loud in word and deed.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Women are giving a ton of reluctant yeses, and they are mad and getting madder. “Most women have a difficult time saying no, especially if they think someone’s feelings may be at stake or if they think they’ll not be liked,” wrote Dr. Kathryn Lively.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“History treats kindly the courage of Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King, Jr., Harvey Milk, and, to a general degree, the millions of women who contested the patriarchy, but their own communities and contemporaries killed them for it.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“Learning to discern what is eternal and what is simply a product of our own context is actually harder work than accepting any interpretation on its face.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“What makes you feel strong and fully alive? What lights you up and gives you energy just thinking about it? Who would you be to your village if you had one? BECOME AN INTEGRAL PART OF SOMETHING. Whether it’s a knitting group, dance troupe, church, kayaking club, or homeschool collective, commit to growing community around one area of your life that enlivens you or fills a need.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“If you are drowning in a sea your regular people are not equipped to swim in, if what you need is deeply rooted and requires the care of a professional, nothing is more courageous than saying this out loud and moving toward your own healing. As I mentioned earlier, the failure to ask for help when needed tends to perpetuate self-neglect much more than self-reliance.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“cannot say this any plainer: there is no shame in securing counseling, therapy, medication if appropriate, and soul care. Rather, it is the strongest possible response to your own pain. Miles”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“This step is as simple as focusing on the problem at hand, writing down your goals, and then listing action steps and resources needed to accomplish each. (Author’s note: I often need a helper to sort this part out. Impartial, strategic thinkers can sometimes see a clear path through what only feels muddy to us. A helping helper to help us think through who can help us and how.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

“The only relief is being genuine at all times with all people, and if you think that is also hard, you are correct, ma’am. But at least it is honest. At least it is whole and true. At least you don’t have to adjust the station according to the passengers.”
― Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You