Becoming Duchess Goldblatt Quotes

“If you’ve ever wondered what the right thing is to say to someone who’s grieving a death, I think this is it: Tell me all about your dear one.”
― Anonymous, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“When someone you love dies, you lose them in pieces over time, but you also get them back in pieces: little fragments of memory come rushing back through what they cared about, what brought them joy. If you’re lucky, you get little pieces back for the rest of your life.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“If you’ve ever wondered what the right thing is to say to someone who’s grieving a death, I think this is it: Tell me all about your dear one.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Sometimes I tie your words in linen with a little lavender and mint and use them as a poultice for my weary old heart.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Any asshole can make a mean joke. It’s harder work to reach out further for the joke that’s funny and can’t hurt anybody.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Close your eyes and visualize the best possible outcome. When it’s not looking, grasp it by the neck and fling it into reality.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Choices are a luxury. We forget that sometimes, don't we? Not everybody gets to have choices.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“There’s my Duchess. Before I go, I’m going to tell you something about trust. It goes like this: It’s best if you decide to be true to the relationship rather than being true to the person. Because when the person lets you down (and he/she will!), you’ll say to yourself, “All bets are off!” And you’ll feel free to break a trust or breach privacy or be disloyal in big or small ways. It’s a justification. If you commit to the relationship, you’re being faithful to that. Same with friendship. That’s what I endeavor to do.—PJ”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“My father used to try to tell me to never say anything about anyone that I wouldn’t want them to overhear. “It will make you boring in conversation sometimes,” he said. “Maybe you know something private about someone that’s embarrassing and you could say it at a party, make everybody laugh. You’ll have to hold yourself back from doing it. Give up the fun of getting that laughter for yourself. But if you believe that you’re called to never cause pain to another human being, it won’t be a hard choice.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“If you have the education, wits, and leisure time to pursue your own interests, you have it better than 99% of the people who ever lived.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Wherever there’s organic matter, a water source, and darkness, reality will grow. Get after it with vinegar, baking soda, and dynamite.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“You’re not that special. Everybody suffers.” “Then what’s all this for?” “For? There is no for. It just is. I don’t think you need to try to assign some deeper reason to it. Suffering is part of life.” “So you’re saying it’s inescapable.” “No, I think I’m trying to say that escape shouldn’t be the primary goal. The goal is that you accept that suffering is part of life and use your suffering to grow in wisdom and depth.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“After a certain point, people lose patience with your grief. They just want you to move on.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Not until people start seeing typos eating out of their garbage cans at night will they regret hunting proofreaders almost to extinction.”
― Anonymous, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Duchess Goldblatt’s Writing Advice: Use all the letters, not just vowels. Spread them around the page until you get the look you want.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Don’t let anyone shame you for your love of an imaginary friend. Religions have been founded on less.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“I paid extra for a phone with regressions instead of updates. It prompts me to return to myself as of this morning, last week, 1986”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“I spilled a bag of ellipses all over the floor. Now I don’t know where anything begins or ends.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“When we rely on self-deprecating humor, we’re trying to neutralize criticism preemptively, and there are echoes of ancient superstitions. I will deny my own gifts so that the gods don’t punish me and take them away.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“At what moment is a friendship conceived? When does it become a viable form of life?”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“I understand exactly what you’re saying,” I’d say. “I understand you have strong feelings, and I can see why. You’re entitled to have your feelings. Your heart belongs to you. Nobody else gets to decide who lives inside your heart. You choose who you want to love.” It’s amazing how simple truths resonate with small children.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“There must be a contract between us, storyteller and listener: I will do the work of telling the tale as long as you do the work of believing in it.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“When people focus intently only on feeling better, they reach for distractions. Overeating, overmedicating, abusing alcohol and drugs, self-harm: all of these self-destructive behaviors are designed to distract.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Writers can be a lot of fun at parties, but word to the wise: Keep an eye on your good memories. They’ll strip them down for parts.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“Just when you think you can’t expect less, you have to learn again to expect less.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“My soul and your soul can talk to each other,” he said. “As long as we tell the truth of our hearts, even when you’re in heaven, we’ll talk.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“When I edit, I remove the words that don’t want to be there, hand wash them in warm water, and lay them flat to dry. I might use them later.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“A lot of people go very Martha Graham when dancing on their enemies’ graves. Me, I like flamenco. I want the souls of the dead to feel it.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“I keep a silver bowl full of emails by the front door. Anyone who tries to pop in for a visit has to take a bag of them for the ride home.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

“She answered every comment people made, and I had a couple of rules: I pushed myself to use every opportunity to respond as a chance to create an inevitable surprise for the reader: “inevitable” in the sense that once you saw it, there was no other response that would have been superior, and a “surprise” in that people couldn’t guess what she would say next. I tried to build in surprises around every corner.”
― Duchess Goldblatt, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt