Unfuck Your Boundaries Quotes

“1) What we mean to say. You know, the actual idea you are trying to express. 2) What we actually say. If you are really good at saying only exactly what you mean at all times, I hope you write a book on your technique. For us regular humans, what we have in our minds and what comes out of our mouths is not always a solid match. 3) What the other person hears. Just because you said it doesn’t mean they heard it without any filter. 4) What the other person thinks you mean. Even if you said “anything for dinner is fine” and you meant anything for dinner is fine, your partner may think there is a hidden agenda, or other things going on beyond the words that actually came out of your mouth.”
― Faith G. Harper, Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

“What if we said, serious as a heart attack, that discussions around boundaries aren’t whiny bullshit but instead are the blueprint to saving ourselves and our relationships,”
― Faith G. Harper, Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

“Questions for Consideration Here are some questions to explore your existing boundaries (whether or not you’ve started communicating them to others): • What messages have you internalized about your right to healthy boundaries and the ownership of your individual needs? • Generally speaking, are the majority of your boundaries rigid, flexible, or permeable? • Which of your boundaries are rigid right now? Are there any that need to be challenged in that regard? Are there any that need to be more rigid?”
― Faith G. Harper, Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

“Consent culture is the normalization of asking for consent for interaction with others. For being disappointed but not butthurt when someone says no. Consent culture at its highest level-up is when we don’t feel weird or embarrassed for establishing and respecting boundaries. Our current subcultural shift to consent culture means we are actively and intentionally changing our culture. And as we steer our own evolution, our laws and norms are starting to reflect these ideals.”
― Faith G. Harper, Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs