Put the F**king Phone Down Quotes

“For us to change, it has to start with more than desire. Anyone can want to learn to swim, but until we drop into the frigid chill of the water for the first time, all that desire is pure bullshit.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“spending regular time alone (and bored!) is a step toward greater self-awareness, which develops empathy, compassion, understanding, and promotes connection with others. Being alone and bored allows us to process, dissect, and analyze the thoughts that we’ve been shoving to the side rather than confronting.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“listening involves paying attention to not only what’s being said, but how it’s being said and equally important — what’s not being said.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“A lot of people find it helpful to go on a hike or walk in nature somewhere, thereby removing the temptation to say “screw this” and watch Netflix instead. During the first 15 minutes or so of the hour, as a thought arises, practice noticing the thought, acknowledging its existence, and allowing it to pass. Then, spend the rest of the hour reflecting on your most important relationships. Perhaps take the temperature of these relationships in a general sense at first and then examine each one individually, working your way from most important to those of lesser significance. Think about what’s good and strong in those relationships, but also consider that which could use improvement”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“As soon as possible and before moving on to the next chapter, set aside one hour to be alone. Yes, one full hour alone, and during that hour, spend your time in honest, thoughtful reflection. You should not bring along your phone, books, electronics, music, pets, other people, small children, etc. Spend this hour completely and totally alone.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Maybe someone said something that really dug in under our skin, and of course, we think of the ultimate comeback about 30 minutes after the situation is over and the person is gone. We take that conversation to the shower, where we win the argument no less than 90 fucking times before the hot water runs out. If this sounds familiar, listen up. What do we do for a song that’s stuck on repeat? Do we listen to the song over and over again, hoping maybe a different song will play, even though the screen clearly displays “Repeat1” as the option highlighted? Nope. We change the repeat option so we can move to a new song. Being alone with these thoughts and learning to take them off repeat is no easy task, but the trick lies in noticing the thought, acknowledging what it is and where it comes from, and then finally allowing the thought to continue on its merry fucking way without latching onto it. Think of the mind as a snow globe, where, as we get agitated, each”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“It has long been understood by neuroscience that placing limits on ourselves sparks creativity. We don’t need research to remind us of this; all it takes is a little exercise in imagination. If an artist is given a canvas the size of an acre and told to paint what-the-fuck-ever comes to mind, then the artist will struggle with where to begin and how to fill all that space. However, give that same artist a blank postcard and say the end result should be an existential reflection of the current state of humankind as a result of the lack of connectivity brought on by life in the Age of Distraction, and the artist will be in the zone in no time flat.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“being bored means that the shit around us is wholly uninteresting, while our heads are full of shit we’d rather not think about.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“A study at the University of Virginia with over 700 participants placed people alone in a room, where they were asked to sit and do nothing for anywhere from 6 to 15 minutes. They were given a button and told they could press the button like a “safe word,” but if they did press it, then it would deliver a painful electric shock. Let me reiterate: SIX to FIFTEEN fucking minutes of being alone, which is about 2-5 typical rock songs, a couple of YouTube videos, or the time it takes to make and eat a bowl of cereal. Still, 67% of the men in the study and 25% of the women pressed the fucking button, thereby choosing to experience searing physical pain rather than sit and do nothing, which is literally the simplest thing in the world any of us can do while conscious. This study is far from unique, as an increasing number of studies show that the majority of today’s humans would rather experience pain than boredom,”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“I’ve used an activity in my classrooms before, where I tell my class that we’re going to spend three minutes in complete silence. Nobody can close their eyes and sleep through the three minutes, nor can they busy themselves by reading or scrolling. Instead, we simply sit in silence together for a full three minutes. You should see their eyes when I announce this. I may as well announce that our guest speaker for the day is a greasy, stank-ass hillbilly with a chainsaw and a mask made from the skin of his prior victims. In fact, such a guest “lecture” may be preferable for many. During this time, people behave predictably. The first 30 seconds are the easiest. From 30-45 seconds, everyone contracts a case of the giggles, and students try to stifle themselves. After the one-minute mark, eyes wander, desperately seeking something to occupy their attention. Some count ceiling tiles, others stare out the window at cloud formations, and many discover solace in examining feet. From 90 seconds to the two-minute mark, students visibly squirm in their seats like a crack addict jonesing for a fix, but once we get into the second minute, something remarkable happens. People chill the fuck out. They no longer avoid eye contact with me or one another. They smile quaint little grins. The squirming subsides, they sit up a bit straighter, and the tension hanging heavy in the air like leaded fog dissipates. When the timer on my phone goes off at three minutes, one might assume that someone in the room would shout and break the uncomfortable silence like they’d been holding their breath the whole time, but they don’t. I never rush our entrance back into dialogue; rather, I wait and allow students to speak first. What’s crazy is that, generally speaking, most students go nearly another minute or so before saying anything.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“We live in an impatient space. What I mean by this term is that, as life slows down, we seem to have a natural and conditioned response to that impending quiet, which propels us toward seeking the next thing to occupy our attention.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Think about times when you were mindfully present. How did it feel for you to allow the rest of the world to disappear as you lost yourself within the intricacies of that moment? At the conclusion of the week, which of the activities seemed to have the most impact? Did any of them seem to build off of one another, or did one individual activity seem more effective than all the others? How will you incorporate these activities in future weeks, even as we move beyond this chapter?”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“. I highly encourage you to write down your thoughts. Writing them down, as you will do in later activities as well, puts everything in one spot and makes it easier to refer back to later. Here’s a few thought-provoking questions to get your creative blood flowing: We know that the difference between going through the motions, acting on autopilot, and being mindless is far different than being mindfully present, particularly when it comes to interacting with people close to us.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“But none of this is possible until we put the fucking phone down, so let’s practice mindfulness together”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Where do your best ideas happen? Arguing with yourself in the shower? Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl? Doing the dishes? Folding the laundry? All these activities have something in common with the activities I proposed in this chapter. All are simple, menial chores that require a small amount of concentration but little to no thought, which allows our minds to quiet down, set aside distraction, and work much more efficiently.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“subtle and incremental changes that add up over time, particularly changes to stress, anxiety, depression, and a more heightened sense of self-awareness.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“The moment we receive and recognize the notification, whether hearing a ding, feeling a buzz, or perhaps simply seeing the screen light up, we need to use those stimuli as triggers to pause instead of mindlessly grab for the device. When it goes off, stop and take 1-2 deep, cleansing breaths. Without looking at the device, ponder who might be trying to contact you and why.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“attention to the amount of time that elapses from the moment you recognize the notification to the moment you’re reaching for the phone. If you’re anything like me or the rest of our doomed species, I’m willing to bet there’s not a lot of time that elapses. Much like the dog in the Pixar film, Up, we are easily conditioned to become slaves to these impulses, almost like having an electronic squirrel in our pockets.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“a fun and refreshing activity. I ended up getting to work at the exact same time, too, so despite all my complaints about being stopped at punishment lights (thanks for the term, Nancy Botwin), it was all a perception of my own making.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“imagining stories about the people I observed.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Hanh suggested that we reframe our perception of red lights by transforming them from being an annoyance or impedance to looking at them more as a momentary relief from the chore of driving.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“As we sit with our drinks, if it’s hot, hold the cup in both hands, noticing the warmth. Close your eyes and pay attention to the heat as it transfers that energy to your skin and through your muscle tissue from one set of cells to another and savor the comforting sensation. Bring the cup to your nose and allow the scent to waft up and contact your olfactory nerves. Notice the smell as it begins lightly and then strengthen as the vapor intensifies. Then, place the cup close to your lips and feel the warmth there as well before taking your first sip. ‘Chew’ your sips, allowing the liquid to contact every last taste bud, noticing the way the flavor develops before you ingest it. As it travels your esophagus, notice the warmth you feel from the inside, smiling at the sensation.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“A varying twist on this activity is to do the following: Before a meal, imagine it’s the last food you will ever eat in your life. After all, one of these days, it will be. Depressing thoughts aside and without allowing your imagination to get too melodramatic, framing our perception of a meal in this manner forces us to slow down and activate a variety of what-if questions. It forces us to slow down, dwell in the moment on purpose, and savor our food much more fully,”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Each time we approached an intersection, we would stop, look at one another, shrug our shoulders, and go whichever way our fancies took us. What struck me as interesting within mere minutes of embarking on this walk was how much different it felt in comparison to others from the past. Instead of power-walking with an end destination in mind, we meandered. Instead of rushing my kids to keep up, I found myself letting go of control as I let them take the lead. We stopped frequently, allowing our attention to be captivated by things like bugs, cracks in the sidewalk, furry squirrels roving the power lines above us, and even the strangeness of some of the street names. That’s when I realized we lived near the corner of 16th and Lincoln, which is weird because Lincoln was the 16th president. Jesus, I’m a nerd. As my children led me, I noticed how liberating it felt to relinquish control. Without a firm destination in mind, I found myself nonjudgmentally accepting the results of letting go. Since I had nowhere to be, it made me feel like I was arriving at home with every single step. Soon, I noticed I was no longer ruminating; I was laughing, enjoying the time we spent together, and my anger had softened up to the point where I was able to see the fight situation much more clearly. In addition to being more cognizant of my role in the argument that precipitated our walk, I started noticing much more physical detail all around my neighborhood.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“This is the relationship between mindfulness and mindlessness. As we grow more mindful, we become less mindless. As we get tired and need downtime, we put away the books and binge-watch our favorite Netflix series, at which point, mindlessness increases and mindfulness dwindles. This is a symbiotic relationship that is absolutely necessary,”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“When we make the choice to be intentionally present, we are capable of honing and refining our focus, sharpening it to a laser-like consistency, to the point where we might actually shock ourselves by the level of interesting detail all around us—detail that escapes our normal perception but becomes available once we slow our minds and allow our brains the opportunity to see things anew. Our senses, barring any exceptions, are finely tuned scientific instruments that can be manipulated to perceive things we may never have thought possible, if only we still our minds for a moment.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Fear of boredom is quickly becoming one of society’s biggest fears, but boredom can be a seriously bad-ass catalyst for creativity. Plus, if we can’t find a way to savor the act of being alone, then how will we expect anybody else to want to be with us? We need to get our shit straight before we can start working on our relationships with others, so let’s go.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“With all that information flying around, constantly shouting, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” we find ourselves under a constant state of duress and our attention spans yanked in every direction at once, which makes it difficult to focus on that which really matters.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“Computers + internet + mobile connection + social networks = a level of even with which most of us can’t.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.

“boundary.”
― Josh Misner, Put the F**king Phone Down: Life. Can't Wait.