The Slob Quotes

“the half-hearted blow sent me flying on my ass into the human gumbo below”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“But that was life, sometimes you had to laugh, otherwise, you’d only cry.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“In retrospect, all the signs were there. I just gave him (and the world)
too much credit I suppose. I thought projecting my good intentions onto
others would act as a safeguard. But benevolence, charm, and charity will
be of little help once you fall into the clutches of a heartless heathen.
- Vera”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“Terror in itself is a helpless feeling that is usually injected immediately into our systems. Almost like it's just sitting dormant, filling a needle that is already poking into our veins. It's waiting for the perfect moment for the plunger to be pushed.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“The vacuum had somehow stopped”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“Terror in itself is a helpless feeling that is usually injected immediately into our systems. Almost like it’s just sitting dormant”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“The undeniable appalling comprehension that death couldn’t be spellbound and contorted to appease her. There was no way to tame or beckon it with total accuracy”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“Children aren’t supposed to die before their parents. It’s not a natural cycle,”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“The torso and limbs had been divided up like pizza in a first-grade math problem. Each piece was skin-free, except for the hands and feet. The rest of the exterior casing had been ripped off and stacked up by itself right behind her head.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“I thought projecting my good intentions onto others would act as a safeguard. But benevolence, charm, and charity will be of little help once you fall into the clutches of a heartless heathen.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us?”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“In retrospect, all the signs were there. I just gave him (and the world) too much credit I suppose. I thought projecting my good intentions onto others would act as a safeguard. But benevolence, charm, and charity will be of little help once you fall into the clutches of a heartless heathen.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?” I asked, still garnering zero response. “He wiped his ass,”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“Because we each knew deep down that we were a little bit glad she was dead.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“So sick that it altered the very fabric of who I was. You can’t change what cloth you’ve been cut from”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“It was in that blissful instant that he’d completely fallen for me. It was the day that I felt like I finally became whole.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“How did Billy Squire die?” I’d asked him only to receive no answer or reaction. “Stroke! Stroke!”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“all the signs were there. I just gave him (and the world) too much credit I suppose. I thought projecting my good intentions onto others would act as a safeguard. But benevolence, charm, and charity will be of little help once you fall into the clutches of a heartless heathen.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“We never valued our quality-of-life based on what was around us, only who was around us.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“I couldn’t recall exactly how many times he slammed my head, but it ached like a Robert Downey Jr. hangover.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“I wasn’t about to let my parents be the ones to clear their child’s brains and face off the wall.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“Soldiers often needed the help of others.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob

“You can’t change what cloth you’ve been cut from but you can at least try to wash it.”
― Aron Beauregard, The Slob