Holding Hands, Holding Hearts Quotes

“What, then, does submission and respect look like for a woman in a dating relationship? Here are some guidelines:
1. A woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she makes herself accessible to him and helps him to make conversation, putting
him at ease and encouraging him as opportunities arise (she does the opposite when she does not have interest in a relationship with a man). A godly woman will not try to manipulate the start of a relationship, but will respond to the interest and approaches of a man in a godly, encouraging way.
2. A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend, both when with him and when apart.
3. She should give honest attention to his interests and respond to his attention and care by opening up her heart.
4. She should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle. Knowing this, she will dress attractively but modestly, and will avoid potentially compromising situations. She must resist the temptation to encourage sexual liberties as a way to win his heart.
5. The Christian woman should build up the man with God's Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6. She should make "helping" and "respecting" the watchwords of her behavior toward a man. She should ask herself, "How can I encourage him, especially in his walk with God?" "How can I provide practical helps that are appropriate to the current place in our relationship?" She should share with him in a way that will enable him to care for her heart, asking, "What can I do or say that will help him to understand who I really am, and how can I participate in the things he cares about?"
7. She must remember that this is a brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy
relationship, but should seek to do so with charity and grace. Should the relationship not continue forward, the godly woman will ensure that her time with a man will have left him spiritually blessed.”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“1. Commit to take the lead in the godliness of your relationship. Read the Bible's passages about how men and women and all Christians should treat one another. Especially take the lead in establishing boundaries that will keep you from sexual sin. Assume that this woman is going to be your wife or the wife of some other Christian brother (who might be currently dating your future wife). Treat her as the precious sister in Christ that she is.
2. Decide in advance whether or not you are willing to love a woman in the self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes. Until you are ready to faithfully hold a woman's heart in your hand, do not enter into a dating relationship.
3. Realizing that God wants you to learn to put her interests ahead of your own, ask her the kinds of things she likes to do and be eager to spend time doing them.
4. Be willing to talk about the relationship. Initiate honest dialogue about how you feel. Do not resent her desire to have the relationship defined, but protect her heart by making your level of commitment clear and thereby making clear the appropriate kind of intimacy to go along with that commitment.
5. Pay attention to her heart. Ask her about her burdens and cares. Seek ways to minister to her and to make her cares your own. Instead of being critical of her, speak words of encouragement and support.
6. Do not be shy in ministering the Word of God to her. Do not preach, but exhort her and call to mind
God's promises and God's love for her in Jesus Christ. Make it a primary goal that she will be spiritually stronger by having been in a relationship with you.
7. If something about her bothers you, think about how you can encourage her in that area. Realize that none of us is without flaws. Pray for her weakness and try to strengthen her in that area. If your concerns are enough to deter you from wanting to marry her, let her know in a forthright manner while being as considerate as possible.”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“Paul concludes, "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (v. 14). A romantic relationship begins with attraction and then grows through affection for each other. But a relationship matures toward true and godly love as it ripens into a desire to give, a longing to bless, and a willingness to sacrifice and to serve. The Bible gives the highest expression of love in terms of God's gift of his only Son, Jesus Christ: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son" (John 3:16). This is the love with which we are to bind our thoughts and words, our feelings and interactions. The result, when two people love with the love that comes from God, is that most wonderful realization of
unity, in which two people give all of their individuality into what Paul calls a "perfect harmony.”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“Love between a man and a woman simply cannot work without love for God at the center of the relationship; by means of his curses, God mercifully brings”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“Why would God do this?" you may ask. If God loved Adam and Eve, why didn't he just forgive them and restore them to blessing? Because God's gifts cannot be enjoyed without obedience to him as the Giver. In sin, Adam and Eve would seek to find love with each other in the absence of love for God, and in God's creation this simply cannot work.”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“If God is my portion, if God is the true source of my joy, and if it is God who will fulfill me, then I am free to be a companion instead of a consumer. That is, because of what I receive from God I can give to another person instead of always taking; I can minister rather than manipulate because of the fulfillment I get from God.”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating

“Love between a man and a woman simply cannot work without love for God at the center of the relationship;”
― Richard D. Phillips, Holding Hands, Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating