How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday Quotes

“To keep your kid safe from polar bears in the Arctic Circle, don't take your kids to the Arctic Circle. Seriously, what kind of vacation is that? There are no major theme parks, and Santa's workshop is just one big tourist trap. Try Hawaii instead.”
― James Breakwell, How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

“...bears sleep months at a time by design, and everyone just leaves them alone. Can you imagine any other animal spending that much time unconscious and NOT being eaten by something else? Bears rose to the top of the food chain solely so they could dedicate half their lives to sleep. It's the world's most intimidating power nap.”
― James Breakwell, How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

“The only place safe from bears is the vacuum of space, and even there, water bears can survive indefinitely.”
― James Breakwell, How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday