The Narcissist's Playbook Quotes

“You feel ground down and as though this relationship has really aged you.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“You become suspicious of their intentions and behavior, and wonder if they are being honest with you.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“You can't seem to have an easy or enjoyable conversation with them with any degree of regularity. They seem to continually misunderstand what you say. With anyone else in your life, confusion like this could easily be cleared up with a short conversation, and you can't figure out why this isn't the case with them.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“- Regularly ignore or discount your feelings and wants.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Push for more, no matter how much you give, and act as if you are selfish or inconsiderate if you say no.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Manipulators may: - Threaten or imply that they will make your life difficult if you don't do what they want.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“While no one is perfect, this doesn't mean that all behavior needs to be tolerated. We can still be imperfect people and have boundaries and deal breakers.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Fault Finding When a person is continually undermined or told that everything they do is wrong, this can lead to a slow and subtle erosion of their self-esteem, leaving them to feel that nothing they do will ever be good enough, and causing them tremendous anxiety and to walk on eggshells.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Finding When a person is continually undermined or told that everything they do is wrong, this can lead to a slow and subtle erosion of their self-esteem, leaving them to feel that nothing they do will ever be good enough, and causing them tremendous anxiety and to walk on eggshells.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Forgetting This is where a manipulator claims they don't remember what was said, or saying what did occur didn't.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Emotions The emotions of fear, obligation, guilt, and sympathy are perhaps the most preyed upon, as they are often the most effective way to get a person to comply.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“If you seek to exert control over yourself or your decisions, the manipulator views it as you taking power from them. Now you've become the enemy, and they will become retaliatory to regain control.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“trying to hold them emotionally hostage.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“If you are being treated in a way that is not okay with you, and they can't or won't stop, then it's okay and necessary for you to set some boundaries. Keeping yourself safe and keeping peace in your life isn't being selfish, it's being self-protective.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“The deciding factor as to whether or not a relationship is workable needs to come from your own standards and boundaries, and nothing else.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“There is no healthy relationship possible with someone who lacks empathy, sincere remorse, honesty, dependability, loyalty or whose actions repeatedly harm you or others.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“It's not uncommon for them to leave a long trail of broken-hearted targets behind them.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“They often cannot handle any criticism and anything less than unquestioned obedience.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“How is arguing with a narcissist like playing chess with a pigeon?" The answer is that no matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over all of the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around like it's victorious.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Narcissists tend to have a paper-thin ego, and any real or perceived injury to their ego can cause them to lash out in wildly inappropriate and destructive ways.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“They are often arrogant, entitled, manipulative, and pathological liars. When their bad behavior comes to light, their lack of insight and accountability can come across as bizarre, staggering, and even jaw-dropping—especially if they continue to lie or fake emotion in order to avoid consequences.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“Even for those closest to them, it might take years if not decades to fully see their pathological lying, lack of empathy and remorse, and exploitative behavior for what it is.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“They are often hypocritical, and expect others to trust them and to treat them with honesty, loyalty, and respect, even though they refuse to treat others this way. They are often irresponsible, impulsive, entitled, and have no sincere guilt or remorse for their actions.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“It's not judgmental or rude to be discerning about those around you; it's healthy.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“If you still have to drag the full truth out of someone, or if they are still hiding details, it's generally because what you know is the tip of the iceberg.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“The reason issues don't get resolved with manipulators is simple: they don't want them to get resolved. They want to get their way, or, they may feel smug and superior by being able to create so much drama.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“It's okay for someone to have an issue with you or your work, but it's not okay for them to create a hostile environment, plant seeds of insecurity, become hyper-critical, impossible to please, or threatening.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“A significant other gives you the silent treatment after you disagree with them.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“They no longer have a solid sense of self, and their actions are primarily fueled by fear of what the manipulator will do if they don't comply, fear of losing the relationship, or fear of living without them.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People

“At its most severe, manipulation is a power play that's rooted in a dangerous degree of entitlement or sadism. The driving force at this level is a pathological need for control.”
― Dana Morningstar, The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People