Armageddon Bound Quotes

“If we have to rely on what’s inside your head that doesn’t relate to porn, we’re screwed.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“At that moment, I realized something I’d always suspected. Boobs were the answer for everything.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Rather than do anything to draw his attention to me, I sat back and watched as he gave a row of metal chairs the worst beating of their inanimate lives, thrashing them into tiny pieces and stomping them into the carpeted floor.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“So rattled by how fast we’d fallen apart, I sat with my head in my hands and stared at the carpet. I couldn’t even bring myself to think something sexual about the sound Scarlett was making.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I’m not sure what you find so exciting about ruling over a smoldering ruin,”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I’m an open book most times. Well, more like an open porno mag, but you get my point. Once you’ve seen the cover, you know what’s going on inside.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Apparently my mouth felt the need to write a check it couldn’t afford to cash. I’m not even sure Donald Trump could afford the bill I was racking up.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“With an explosion of sound, the roof of my house was blown away, frenzied winds whipping above us. Shards of wood and tile flew past, caught up in the fury of the blast. The front walls followed a second later, furniture and household goods were swept along like an Alabama trailer park during twister season.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I discarded the arm, a surprisingly less effective weapon than one would think, and decided to go about this the old-fashioned way;”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to sink into the ground. Fortunately, I didn’t have to rely on that highly overrated defensive maneuver.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Veronica was drawn to the essence of life. She fed on it, devoured it, leaving behind an empty husk. I don’t mean just our marriage either.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I had a job to do. The fate of the world rested on my shoulders. Now would be a good time for a miracle.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I felt like France. All I wanted to do was raise my arms and shout, “I surrender.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I felt a woman’s boobs pressed into my back. At least I hoped they were a woman’s. It could have been a really fat guy, but I preferred not to think of that possibility.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“You’d think I’d have learned from all the movie villains who get beat while monologuing. Guess not.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I’m not exactly a fan of anyone who lists wiping out existence as their top priority.” “But it’s in our nature. Are we not what God has made us to be?” He had a point. Damn demons.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I decided to go it alone. Besides, if I died in the line of duty they’d call me a hero. I’d get a better epitaph, at least.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Old Town. I was getting real sick of that place. One day there’d be a barrel of gasoline and a match with Old Town’s name on it.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Fortunately, my guns were still there. I could just picture some homeless guy stumbling onto them and going on a rampage at a liquor store. That would just make Abraham so happy. Bum crisis avoided,”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“They’re demons, it’s what they do.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I tried my hardest not to be aroused. It wasn’t enough. What can I say? I’m easy.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I get mouthy when I’m mad. It’s one of my better character flaws.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Life had been so much easier when I knew who my enemies were. These days it was everyone for themselves. Trust was a commodity traded on the open market, to be bought and sold on a whim. Ambition had become the new religion whose dogma had no place for compassion or mercy. No wonder God and Satan left.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“This day just kept getting worse. Spilled beer and zero cleavage. Was there no mercy?”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“Baalth smiled so wide I could count his teeth. I stopped at five. I get bored easy.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“To paraphrase the Vegas commercial, what goes on in Old Town, stays in Old Town, usually in a shallow grave or hastily converted BBQ pit.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I wasn’t looking forward to being killed. That would seriously ruin my day.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound

“I did what any gentleman would do for a woman whose whole world, whose life, whose very existence was crumbling down around her. I changed the subject.”
― Tim Marquitz, Armageddon Bound