Welcoming the Unwelcome Quotes

“learning how to fail will help us more than anything else in life”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“We all have tremendous potential and yet we stay closed in a very small, fearful world, based on wanting to avoid the unpleasant, the painful, the insecure, the unpredictable. There is vast, limitless richness and wonder we could experience if we fully accustomed our nervous systems to the open-ended, uncertain reality of how things are.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“The ego wants resolution, wants to control impermanence, wants something secure and certain to hold on to. It freezes what is actually fluid, it grasps at what is in motion, it tries to escape the beautiful truth of the fully alive nature of everything. As a result, we feel dissatisfied, haunted, threatened. We spend much of our time in a cage created by our own fear of discomfort.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Shielding ourselves from the vulnerability of all living beings—which includes our own vulnerability—cuts us off from the full experience of life. Our”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. I have no idea what that will look like and no preconceptions about how things should turn out, but I do have a strong sense that the time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open-minded and open-hearted. If we can learn to hold this falling apart–ness without polarizing and without becoming fundamentalist, then whatever we do today will have a positive effect on the future. Working with polarization and dehumanization won’t put an immediate end to the ignorance, violence, and hatred that plague this world. But every time we catch ourselves polarizing with our thoughts, words, or actions, and every time we do something to close that gap, we’re injecting a little bodhichitta into our usual patterns. We’re deepening our appreciation for our interconnectedness with all others. We’re empowering healing, rather than standing in its way. And because of this interconnectedness, when we change our own patterns, we help change the patterns of our culture as a whole.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. I have no idea what that will look like and no preconceptions about how things should turn out, but I do have a strong sense that the time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open-minded and open-hearted. If we can learn to hold this falling apart–ness without polarizing and without becoming fundamentalist, then whatever we do today will have a positive effect on the future.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“If we want to learn about our future, we should look at what we’re doing now.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“In this very brief time that we have on earth, we have to ask ourselves how we’re going to spend our time. Will we keep increasing and strengthening our neurotic habits in our vain quest for some kind of lasting comfort and pleasure? Or will we make it a practice to step out into the learning zone?”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Consciously or unconsciously, we carry around concepts of “us” and “them,” “right” and “wrong,” “worthy” and “unworthy.” In this framework, there’s not much room for a middle ground; everything is at one pole or another. When groups of people or whole nations get together around these concepts, they can become hugely magnified, which may result in large-scale suffering: discrimination, oppression, war.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“When we start to ask ourselves, “Does it matter?” we realize how many aspects there are to every situation. We begin to appreciate how interconnected we are to the rest of the world, and how even our thought patterns can lead to a whole series of consequences”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Is this feeling permanent?” “Is it transient?” “Is it solid?” “Is it fluid?” “Is it fixed?” “Is it dynamic?” “Is it finite or infinite?” You can also ask: “Is this feeling me?” “Is it not me?” “Is it an obstacle?” “Is it a portal?” Or you can touch the feeling, completely free of storyline, and say, “When experienced directly, this very feeling is basic goodness,” or “Basic goodness is found right here.” In other words, you don’t have to wait until the feeling is gone to find basic goodness.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Protecting ourselves from pain—our own and that of others—has never worked. Everybody wants to be free from their suffering, but the majority of us go about it in ways that only make things worse.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Trunga Rinpoche told this story about how he once was sitting in a garden with Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, one of his most important teachers. They were just sitting enjoying their time together in the beautiful setting, hardly saying anything, simply happy to be there with each other. Then Khyentse Rinpoche pointed and said, "They call that a 'tree'," and both of them roared with laughter. For me this is a wonderful illustration of the freedom and enjoyment that await us when we stop being fooled by our labels.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“if we understand how growth happens and are inspired to pursue the path of awakening, we develop an appetite for the things that challenge us. We become increasingly drawn to the places where learning and deepening can happen.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Ego struggles against reality, against the open-endedness and natural movement of life. It is very uncomfortable with vulnerability and ambiguity, with not being quite sure how to pin things down.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Every challenge presents an opportunity for spiritual growth, whether it’s a small irritation or when everything as you’ve known it falls apart.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“there’s no end to the number of fresh starts you get. There’s no fixed “you” doomed to stay in the same rut forever.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“The Buddha taught that all beings have the potential to wake up completely, and that all of us will eventually get there. He and many other wise people in this world have given us tools for taking whatever occurs in our lives and using it to cultivate our basic goodness and become more and more able to be there for others. Whatever the future brings—welcome or unwelcome—we can use on our path of awakening. To me, this attitude is the best kind of optimism.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“all of us have had to start in the same place—as confused, reactive, but basically good human beings.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“I hold my teachers, beginning with Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, so dear to me because of how they’ve been able to show me—and model for me—my own potential. It’s like meeting a part of yourself that you didn’t even know was there.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“The Buddha spoke a lot about the importance of working with one’s ego. But what did he mean by “ego”? There are various ways to talk about this word, but one definition I particularly like is “that which resists what is.” Ego struggles against reality, against the open-endedness and natural movement of life. It is very uncomfortable with vulnerability and ambiguity, with not being quite sure how to pin things down.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Working with polarization and dehumanization won’t put an immediate end to the ignorance, violence, and hatred that plague this world. But every time we catch ourselves polarizing with our thoughts, words, or actions, and every time we do something to close that gap, we’re injecting a little bodhichitta into our usual patterns. We’re deepening our appreciation for our interconnectedness with all others.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“What awakens my heart, and what blocks that process from happening?”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Status quo is not very helpful for spiritual growth, for using this short interval between birth and death. On the other hand, expanding our ability to feel comfortable in our own skin and in the world, so that we can be there as much as possible for other people, is a very worthy way to spend a human life.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Having asked ourselves these kinds of questions, we can then start using what comes up in our present lives to prepare for the future. From this point on, we can train in staying open and compassionate in whatever difficult circumstances we encounter. Then, if we get to a point where hardships bring out the best in us, we will be of great help to those in whom hardships bring out the worst. If even a small number of people become peaceful warriors in this way, that group will be able to help many others just by their example.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“expanding our ability to feel comfortable in our own skin and in the world, so that we can be there as much as possible for other people, is a very worthy way to spend a human life.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Happiness “disappears in a moment,” he says, “like a dewdrop on a blade of grass.”* Basing your comfort on things that don’t last is a futile strategy for living.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“Just like me, this person doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable. Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be disliked. Just like me, this person wants to have friends and intimacy.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“When our main goals are to gain comfort and avoid discomfort, we begin to feel disconnected from, and even threatened by, others.”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World

“We all have a deep propensity to label things automatically—and often unconsciously—as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. We like it, we don’t like it, or we don’t care one way or the other. But “pleasant” can easily escalate into craving, crippling addiction, and all kinds of outer manifestations such as animal exploitation and the sex trade. “Unpleasant” can lead to deep-seated prejudice, hatred, and violence. And “neutral” can easily turn into indifference, being out of touch with our feelings, ignoring others, not helping people out who are in distress. All of these simple labels can manifest”
― Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World