Confronting Without Offending Quotes

“[B]y not standing firm and by not exercising tough love, we often cause the figurative “death” of others and sometimes ourselves, our goals, our destiny.”
― Deborah Smith Pegues, Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict

“Each of us must make it our priority and personal responsibility to stay in harmony with our fellowman. Harmony is not just about creating a pleasant environment; it produces synergy. The best way to explain synergy is to say that a hand is much more effective than five fingers working independently. I tested this theory one day using dumbbells. I wanted to determine the maximum number of pounds each of my fingers could lift independently. Two pounds was the limit. I then tested my capability with my fingers working together. I rationalized that five fingers times two pounds each should yield a maximum of ten pounds. Not so. I lifted thirty-five pounds!”
― Deborah Smith Pegues, Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict

“Obedience is the performance of a request, but submission comes from the heart.”
― Deborah Smith Pegues, Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict

“The Dictator Supervisor When I held a high-visibility position at a Fortune 500 company, I was adamant about the quality of the correspondence that went out of my department. Although I had a superstar staff, I edited all staff memos in order to make them “better.” One day, because time was of the essence, I quickly reviewed a memo in the presence of the writer and concluded that it conveyed the message and required no changes. I would have worded it a little differently, yet I simply stated that it was okay to send it. The woman who had written the memo was ecstatic. She said, “No changes? I can’t believe it!” She was beaming. From that day forward, I made adjustments to staff memos only when it was absolutely necessary. The impact on morale was amazing. I learned something that I had not learned in business school: people need to feel that they exercise some control or authority in their environment.”
― Deborah Smith Pegues, Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict