When to Walk Away Quotes

“Christians need to stop worrying about the unhealthy fallout of unhealthy people who are challenged by healthy decisions. We can’t control the way someone responds, and their response isn’t on us. We control our own efforts to be as loving, true, gentle, and kind as our God calls us to be as we live with healthy, God-ordained priorities. As biblical counselor Brad Hambrick has told me, grieving is a better use of emotional energy here than fretting or second-guessing, so keep the emphasis there. Learn how to grieve fractured relationships, and then learn how to let them go. Don’t let disappointment morph into self-doubt and self-flagellation. Just because you wish something wasn’t a certain way doesn’t mean it’s your fault that it’s not.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Instead of trying to make toxic people happy or satisfied (which is a waste of time, since they can’t and won’t be mollified), live to help reliable people serve and worship God. Our job is to open up new avenues of worship with people who want to reverence God. Rather than living to make toxic people feel good about us, let’s live to make reliable people excited about God.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Celebrated novelist and philosopher Aldous Huxley warns, “Those who crusade not for God in themselves, but against the devil in others, never succeed in making the world better, but leave it either as it was, or sometimes even perceptibly worse than it was before the crusade began. By thinking primarily of evil we tend, however excellent our intentions, to create occasions for evil to manifest itself . . . To be more against the devil than for God is exceedingly dangerous. Every crusader is apt to go mad. He is haunted by the wickedness which he attributes to his enemies; it becomes in some sort a part of him.”3”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“humility calls us to realize that what is toxic for us may not be toxic for others. If you have a toxic experience with someone that leaves you frustrated and discouraged, rethinking conversations late at night, finding your blood pressure rising, and (especially this!) seeing it keep you from being present with loved ones long after the toxic interaction is over, then for you that relationship isn’t healthy. But I’m reluctant to too hastily apply the label “toxic” in an absolutist sense.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“They are toxic, and we know they are toxic, but perhaps they’re a lifelong friend, relative, or coworker. You can’t avoid all troublesome people, can you? And aren’t we supposed to reach difficult people? Didn’t Jesus tell us to search for sinners? And so we keep engaging them, keep running into a wall, all the while thinking we’re doing the Lord’s work. But what if we’re not? What if there’s another way of looking at how we handle toxic people in our lives? What if the way and work of Christ are so compelling, so urgent, and so important that allowing ourselves to become bogged down by toxic people is an offense to God rather than a service to God?”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“It’s time to make the most of the one life God gives us, and that means we have to learn how to play a little defense. Resolve today that the toxic people won’t take you down or even distract you. Your mission matters too much for that.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“chapter 12 follows up by teaching the sad but essential reality that in order to maintain our mission before God, we must learn how to be hated without letting it distract or destroy us.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Chapter 8 explores Jesus’ famous passage where he warns us not to throw pearls to pigs. Chapter 9 looks at the difference between labeling and name-calling; if it seems harsh to you to call someone “toxic,” you’ll find this chapter particularly helpful.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Bask in God’s acceptance and delight. You can’t make everyone like you; in this toxic world, it is certain that everyone won’t like you. So put your identity in the One who loves you dearly, who says, “I chose you and will keep choosing you.” Your best defense against toxic people’s rejection is your holy Father’s acceptance. Your best shield from the world’s animosity is the Creator’s passionate pursuit. You don’t have to defend yourself. You don’t have to engage your enemies. Simply lift up your hands and be loved. Embrace your mission and walk away with Jesus from anyone who seeks to stop you from doing what God has called you to do or from being the person God has called you to be. God’s grace, God’s beauty, God’s acceptance, and God’s affirmation are the most powerful antidotes against the toxicity found in this fallen world. Let’s all choose to live out of his affirmation.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“The first line of defense against toxicity in the world must therefore be launched by believers who practice self-control.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“When a toxic person attacks us, let’s think these words first: I honor my Father in heaven above all things. Pleasing you or getting you to agree with me isn’t my first goal in life. After explaining his motivation, Jesus puts the issue back on the toxic person, where it belongs. This isn’t about me because I’m honoring my Father; this is about you because you’re dishonoring me.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“when truth is rejected, spend your time on those who will receive it instead of begging closed-hearted people to reconsider.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Sometimes to follow in the footsteps of Jesus is to walk away from others or to let them walk away from us.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“One of Satan’s cleverest attacks is getting us to pour our time and energy into people who resent the grace we share and who will never change, keeping us from spending time with and focusing on others whom we can love and serve.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“There are certain people who drain us, demean us, and distract us from other healthy relationships. Long after they’re gone, we’re still fighting with them in our minds and trying to get them out of our hearts. They keep us awake. They steal our joy. They demolish our peace. They make us (if we’re honest with ourselves) weaker spiritually. They even invade times of worship and pervert them into seasons of fretting.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Understanding the truth is the doorway to new life. And understanding the truth often requires the use of labels. Honoring someone, whether that person is a boss, parent, or spouse, doesn’t mean we have to pretend they’re something they’re not. Honoring and honesty can exist side by side.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“have had to come to grips with the fact that people have lied and will lie about me; they will rip a few sentences out of context, twist a few passages, and make me sound like I believe something I don’t because they need something to be angry about and oppose.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“it may feel as if they just want you to stop being you.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Leaving toxic behavior behind transformed the way Doug relates to his wife, his children, his coworkers, and even himself.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Christians are most likely to act in a toxic way when they value being right over being like Christ. Scripture isn’t a weapon to be used to hurt nonbelievers. Methods matter.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“The apostle Paul tells a new crop of Christians that faith in Jesus means getting rid of anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language and putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“What am I feeling? What is it rooted in? Is it from this circumstance or something from the past?”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Toxic people must always live on the precipice of fear and exposure. They are terrified by the light and the truth, yet the light and the truth will win out in the end.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“As God’s followers, we are not to mock, taunt, ridicule, or bully any “sinner.” Being mean to someone we consider a sinner is itself a toxic sin. We’re adding to the problem, not offering ourselves as instruments of the solution. Instead of being toxic, we are called to show compassion.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“When we insult others, when we call them idiots and fools, that’s the kind of thing Jesus says can get us thrown into hell.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Jesus challenges expressions of meanness because he loves the people we’re being mean to. If they know him, he wants them to embrace the abundant life. If they don’t know him, he wants us to display the kindness and compassion of Christ that we’ve received in order to invite them into his family.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“What should scare all of us believers a little bit is that when we listen to Jesus, he seemed to show the most compassion toward sexual sinners and more judgment toward mean people: “But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:22 NRSV).”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Transformation for Doug occurred when he met Jesus on his personal “Damascus road.” Sermons on right living should come after Jesus, not before.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“I am writing to all who have been called by God the Father, who loves you and keeps you safe in the care of Jesus Christ” (Jude 1 NLT, emphasis added).”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

“Christine finally got the courage to let go one morning when she read Psalm 116:16: Truly I am your servant, LORD; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.”
― Gary L. Thomas, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People