Throwing the Elephant Quotes

“  Your goal is to reach the point where, no matter what happens in any given day, you just don’t give a shit.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man. MARK TWAIN”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Don’t you ever turn your back on me when I’m talking. CITIGROUP SENIOR EXECUTIVE JAMIE DIMON TO THE COMPANY’S VICE CHAIRMAN, DERYCK MAUGHAN, AT A BLACK-TIE DINNER. WHEN MAUGHAN TURNED AWAY FROM HIM, DIMON GRABBED HIM BY THE SHOULDERS AND SPUN HIM AROUND, POPPING A BUTTON FROM THE LAPEL OF HIS DINNER JACKET”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“TRUTH #2: Desire is the root of suffering. It is the desire to achieve, to live, to make things tolerable and pleasant, and even better, that creates untold pain in the lives of men and women. Want nothing, and you shall not be disappointed.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“TRUTH #1: Work is suffering. The ability to boss other people around destroys much of human decency.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“That is the way of management from time immemorial, in medieval feudal states, communist dictatorships, and capitalist conference rooms alike. It is the way the powerful treat those less so, and it is the human condition.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Either I get Frank’s job as president, or I’m going to leave the company. JEFFREY KATZENBERG TO DISNEY CHAIRMAN MICHAEL EISNER LESS THEN THIRTY-SIX HOURS AFTER THE DEATH OF DISNEY NUMBER TWO, FRANK WELLS”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Elephants are therefore left only the option of being afraid of little things that sneak up and surprise them. Such things include mice, loud noises, spreadsheet surprises and sudden disappointments, food that is on the menu but unavailable, unannounced visitors, word of the displeasure of a higher executive, bad news about the effect of NutraSweet on the human kidney.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Fear is like fire. If you don’t know how to handle it, it can kill you. But if you use it correctly, it can warm your house.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Clear spirits destroy karma. Brown spirits build karma.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“When lightning is obviously about to strike a certain tree, one must consider sitting under another.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close he could hardly fail to grasp it.” The quotation is from The Great Gatsby,”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“It was like being a fly on the wall at a meeting. JACK WELCH ON HIS JOB AT AGE TWELVE AS A CADDY FOR LOCAL BUSINESSMEN AT A SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS, COUNTRY CLUB”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“The ways to find one’s way to Enlightenment are many. There is prayer and fasting, and some try that to great effect, but that road is severe, particularly to people with electronic scheduling software and a lot of business lunches as part of the general requirements of their jobs, not to mention drinks after work, and pretty soon fasting, if not prayer, is out the window.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“While in their conference room perusing some papers, he came upon a middle manager who was being yelled at by a senior vice president of finance. The poor man’s shoulders were bent with anguish, his eyes were red and runny with sadness and humiliation, his hands shook, and he could scarcely raise his voice to defend himself.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“During that time, the young man met and married a beautiful young woman who had completed her law degree from Columbia University but had decided to pursue her MBA afterward because she had no desire to practice law. Who does? Still, they were happy.”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“To a real elephant, and not a sheep, wolf, or gnu in elephant’s clothing, you are not there. There is no You. There is no Is. There is only the Elephant. Don’t you see how silly that”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses