Goblin Quest Quotes

“That worked great! Thank you so much. What next?"
"I don't know. I didn't expect you to live through it."
"Oh.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Torches," Porak ordered.
"This is dumb," Jig grumbled as one of the others handed out torches. "Why not run ahead and warn any intruders that we're coming? Maybe we should sing, too, in case they're blind.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Plans were for adventurers. He preferred the goblin approach. Blind panic might not work all the time, but at least it saved you the stress of planning.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“A hundred feet underground, in a fake field beneath a fake sky, with an ogre slaughtered like no more than a rat to a cat, and he sends us to search for the unusual.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Forget about what goblins would do. Forget about what an adventurer would do. I need to figure out what Jig should do.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“The life of an adventurer appeared to consist of roughly six parts boredom to one part stark terror, or so it seemed to Jig.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Blind panic might not work all the time, but at least it saved you the stress of planning.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Don’t worry about a lost finger,” Darnak said gently. “Many an adventurer has lost a finger, or worse, and still gone on to accomplish great things. Have you heard the song of . . . I forget his name. The little guy with nine fingers, from the middle continent. The one involved with that ring business a while back.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Odd lair for a dragon", Darnak said, "and I've seen one or two in my times."
"Do all dragons own flower gardens?"
"This is the first one I've come across.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Sure, Death was going to find him sooner or later, but it seemed as though Death were taking the scenic route to get there.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Among other things, hobgoblins liked to use nasty traps and ambushes. When they caught a goblin alone in their territory, they had been known to torture it for hours, then send the crippled wretch back to the goblins as a warning.

True, goblins did the same thing if they managed to catch a hobgoblin, but that was simple justice.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“Surface-dwellers had an expression about the wrath of the gods. Since goblins didn't really care for gods, they had an alternate expression-they called it the wrath of the chef.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest