Dungeon Mauling Quotes

“Item Type: Improvised Item Class: Two Handed Why-Are-You-Using-This Material: Wood Damage: Bludgeoning Durability: 80/80 Weight: 24.8 lbs Requirements: Str 20 and a willingness to use a table as a weapon Description: A table made of wood. Four legs, one top, plenty of desperation”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“Dumb things,” Ragnar said, already pulling Emeline along down the stairs. “He says dumb things. All the time.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“ready,” he said. “You got a shirt?” I asked. “No.” “A name?” “Donner.” “You’re not with a party, are you?” He looked confused, but shook his head. “No.” “Fair enough! Lead us to the oubliette.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“But by knowing that they’d think we’d think the first entrance is bad because they’d think we’d think the first entrance is good because they’d think we’d think the first entrance is bad, they’d make the first entrance good to throw us off.” “I see,” Emeline said. “He does say stupid shit all the time.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“The oubliette was depressing, in a fundamental way. I mean, obviously it was done that way on purpose. It was built to send people to their ends, a way to execute a person without actually having to execute them. Pretty much the ultimate expression of passive aggression.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“Just because he lies, it does not preclude him from telling the truth.” Philomon’s jaw dropped open. He stared back at his beastly bodyguard. “Giles, where have you learned to speak that way? It does not become you. Stop sounding intelligent at once.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“Pro-tip for fighting in confined spaces when you’re outnumbered: let your opponents fight themselves as much as they fight you.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“Just because he lies, it does not preclude him from telling the truth.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“If this were an NFL combine, I’d have the commenters checking their records. It’s amazing how much bonus speed imminent death offers.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling

“Have you considered a love interest? Perhaps find a curvy Kitsune girl. Or girls. Harems are proving very popular.”
― Eric Ugland, Dungeon Mauling