Finding Your Own North Star Quotes

“People who don't honor their losses don't grieve. They may lose all joy in living, but they don't actively mourn, and this means that they don't heal.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Almost everyone who feels stymied, aimless, directionless is carrying an unresolved emotional wound. A lack of enthusiasm for life is always a sign that the deep self is hurt. Every person's essential self is pure, productive energy, and yours will return and send you into a fulfilling life almost automatically if your psyche is in good repair.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Career miracles happen when you’re so in love with your life that pushing yourself is actually easier than stopping, when you “do without doing.” Joyful activity adds real value to the world, and adding value is the heart and soul of a successful career.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“The urge to find the real facts is destructive only to people or systems (friendships, family dynamics, political dynasties) that are based on lies. The truth can scare you half to death, but it’s never as destructive as deception.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Albert Camus wrote, “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“A lot of things you believe to be impossible are actually well within your reach.”
― Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“As any good Buddhist will tell you, the only way to find permanent joy is by embracing the fact that nothing is permanent. Chapters 12 through 15 will discuss the “patterned disorder” that organizes the chaos of change, so that even on a road no one has traveled before, you’ll have some idea what dangers you face, and how to conquer them. I’m not going to tell you that all this is going to be painless, but I can assure you that it will be wonderful. Take it from Dan. You may recall that in his case, the way back to la verace via lay directly through Hell. Dante’s journey took him as low as a human being could sink, through his worst fears and most bitter truths, down to the very center of the earth. And then, by continuing straight “downward” through the center and beyond, he was suddenly headed up. Before him he could see “the beautiful things that Heaven bears,” things like purpose, fulfillment, excitement, compassion, and delight. He was still tired and scared, but he wasn’t sleepwalking, and he wasn’t lost. There”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“I base all my counseling on the premise that each of us has these two sides: the essential self and the social self. The essential self contains several sophisticated compasses that continuously point toward your North Star. The social self is the set of skills that actually carry you toward this goal. Your essential self wants passionately to become a doctor; the social self struggles through organic chemistry and applies to medical school. Your essential self yearns for the freedom of nature; your social self buys the right backpacking equipment. Your essential self falls in love; your social self watches to make sure the feeling is reciprocal before allowing you to stand underneath your beloved’s window singing serenades.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“isn’t as serious as someone else’s gut wound, that doesn’t mean your injury isn’t excruciating or doesn’t require attention. If you want to help the Indian children, or make the world a better place in any other way, you have to start by becoming whole yourself.)”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Your skills and passions will stay with you when corporate loyalty fades, or technology makes your job obsolete, or an opportunity that never existed before suddenly crosses your path. The stolid, predictable social self doesn’t have a clue about what to do in situations like these—but the creative and unorthodox essential self does. In an economy where it’s getting harder and harder to find organizations that will chart a lifetime course for your career, finding your inner navigational system is not only personally gratifying—it’s the best chance you have of achieving financial security.”
― Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“But the essential self creates it quite deliberately. It doesn’t want you to be equally comfortable around just anybody. Life is short, and far too many people in it would like a chunk of your time. If certain situations or people routinely trigger spasms of hideously awkward social behavior, you can be sure that your essential self is not happy with them. Human social dynamics are far too subtle for the linear, logical social self. The essential self is really the only part of you that can do it well, and it, not you, decides when that will happen.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“The best way to make your fortune in today’s economic climate is to master the spontaneous, creative “not-doing” of the essential self.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Not-doing can involve intense activity, but that activity will feel better by far than doing nothing.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Taoists believe that there is an immense benevolent force flowing through all reality, and that each of us—at least our essences—are a part of that force. Once you’re aligned with this force (the Tao, or “Way”), you’re like a surfer on the perfect wave; you move forward with tremendous power, but the only thing you have to do is go up when the water goes up, and down when the water goes down.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. The first time I read these lines, from the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu, they hit me like an explosion.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“I call this the “essential self.” Melvin’s essential self was born a curious, fascinated, playful little creature, like every healthy baby. After forty-five years, it still contained powerful urges toward individuality, exploration, spontaneity, and joy. But by repressing these urges for years and years, Melvin’s social self had lost access to them. It was inevitable that Melvin would also lose his true path, because while his social self was the vehicle carrying him through life, it was cut off from his essential self, which had all the navigational equipment that pointed toward his North Star.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“The more conformist the culture, the more taboo “no” becomes.”
― Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live