Words That Change Minds Quotes

“People transform their actual experience, their opinions, and so on, in ways that correspond to their own particular Deletions, Distortions, and Generalizations.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“If we observe and listen carefully to how a person behaves and communicates linguistically, we can glean an understanding of how, neurologically, a person puts his or her experience together to be excellent, mediocre, or awful at the things he or she does. Hence, this field is called Neuro-linguistic Programming.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“Active listening consists of paraphrasing what the other person said, in your own words, in order to show them what you understood.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“We move, we grow, and our response to significant events in our lives can change how we function.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“If you have emotional outbursts that you would like to manage better, first be aware of what your typical negative hot buttons are. Secondly, notice your reaction in the moment as it's happening (yes you CAN do this). Thirdly, get out of the situation without drawing attention if possible so that you can do what you need to calm down. And fourthly, if it is not possible to leave, breathe deeply and smile, knowing that you can come back later when you are emotionally ready to handle the situation.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“If you want to hire someone motivated to perform the job at hand, determine whether the job is mainly goal-oriented or is mainly about troubleshooting. Do you need someone who is excited about working toward goals, or someone who delights in solving crises?”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“If you have the tendency to give too much information, the Two Sentence Principle might be for you. Speak two sentences and then observe or listen to your audience (whether one person or many). Do they want more? Do they look bored or want to leave?”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“By deleting, distorting and generalizing, we inhabit our perceptions and interpretations of Reality”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“If you want to maintain your motivation over the long term, visualize what you want in front of yourself, i.e. I see a video of me fitting into my favorite skinny jeans, and feel the attraction of that image, drawing you towards it.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“You pay attention to how people talk when they answer, rather than what they talk about. Even when a person does not answer the question directly, they will reveal their pattern by the manner in which they answer (or don't).”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“Internal employees have trouble accepting being managed, and generally do not need praise to stay motivated. Working for a "micro-manager" would be torture. Their motivation comes from inside; they are self-starters. They need to make their own decisions and will do that even when they have not been given permission. They become demotivated when they do not get to decide anything. When you give them an instruction, they will consider that as a piece of information and then decide whether to follow it.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“I have a friend who likes to go away for the weekend at the last minute. Guess what Pattern she has! She used to phone her brother up on a Thursday night and say "Hey I found a great deal to go to Majorca very cheap this weekend. Wanna go? Wanna go?" He usually refused and became annoyed. When she guessed he was more Reactive, she changed her approach: "I found some info about a cheap weekend getaway in Majorca and I was wondering if we might like to do it. I am sending you the information so you can think it over and let me know." He called back in an hour and said "Yes.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“I used to be influenced by peer pressure, but my friends talked me out of it.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“customary”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“To help you identify when someone is talking about or has switched Contexts, listen for: When? Where? With whom? and a verb. When people use these cues, they are telling you what a Context is for them: "When we are sitting in the living room with the kids, arguing about whether it's bedtime." "In client meetings, doing a needs analysis.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“stepping on others' toes to get things done.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“Coaching: The Conversational Coaching© methodology, where the coach elicits the client's LAB Profile® Patterns conversationally for their current situation and their desired state. The process enables the client to experience their desired state and develop their own solutions.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“switched Contexts, listen for: When? Where? With whom? and a verb.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“You pay attention to how people answer, instead of what they say.”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“According to a study quoted in the New York Times, the parents of ordinarily creative children had an average of 6 rules, while the parents of highly creative children only had one.[32] Fewer rules, telling your kids what to do and how to do it produces more creative kids. But they are probably harder to manage!”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

“Do you feel bad enough now to make some changes or would you rather wait until you feel even worse?”
― Shelle Rose Charvet, Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence