Black Girls Must Die Exhausted Quotes

“Love comes in many forms—self-love, love between friends, familial love and romantic love, amongst them. In fact, this book itself is my love letter—to you, to black women, to women and to all those who understand the beauty that comes through struggle and the benefit of doing their own work to heal, to understand, to grow, and most importantly, to love more fully.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“a man that ain’t got no plan for you ain’t your man.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“People always want to say that women are crazy, but, nine times out of ten, there’s a reason with a man’s name.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“We just have to focus on what choices we have in front of us, not the ones behind.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Only a fool would think that anything they’ve done was on their own, Tabby,” Ms. Gretchen said. “Nobody makes it on their own, at least, not anywhere worthwhile.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“I say don’t ever die of exhaustion on somebody else’s terms!”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“A lot of times it does feel exhausting. Because everything bad in society is about you, but when it comes to the good, nothing is for you. I feel like I’m not enough and too much, all at the same time. And then, other times, being black feels exhilarating—because every good thing that happens feels like a victory, even the small things. Because you’re constantly reminded that you’re an other, so you know whatever good happened in spite of. So there’s celebration, there’s some joy.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Whatever life you can get your hands on, you’ve got to live it right out to the corners. When I die, I want to skid into heaven with the last wheel falling off,” Ms.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Laila was a true Gemini. She only told you what she wanted you to know, and meanwhile, she’d be living some entirely separate life that you’d only find out about when she was ready to share.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“It’s always been a fine line to walk knowing that sometimes I might be the only one in the room with the platform to amplify the stories that shape the lives of forgotten people.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“didn’t we all need the space to fall short and keep fighting? Isn’t that what we’re all asking from one another? For the space to try again with the hope that one day, somehow, we could earn that type of forgiveness—the getting over it type, all of it.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Isn’t that what we’re all asking from one another? For the space to try again with the hope that one day, somehow, we could earn that type of forgiveness”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Even if it’s just a week, it’s a special kind of missing someone when your best friend is away.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Now, Gretchen, a man that ain’t got no plan for you ain’t no man at all. And he’s definitely not your man, you hear? Real men got plans for the things important to them. If he ain’t got no plan for you, then you ain’t what’s important.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“And then, other times, being Black feels exhilarating—because every good thing that happens feels like a victory, even the small things. Because you’re constantly reminded that you’re an other, so you know whatever good happened in spite of. So there’s celebration, there’s joy.” I paused, just to think. It felt so complicated. I pushed myself to find more, in the deeper parts, hidden in the folds of my spirit—the secrets. “And emptiness is there too—a different kind from what you described, though. A need for . . . validation, maybe to be seen, approved of, to matter as an individual, not just a monolith. And a desire to know that if I do follow all the rules, that I get the promise on the other side, just like anyone else. And by anyone else, I mean anyone else who is white.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“It just seemed that once 30 hit, all the folks for whom marriage meant something, especially the men who considered having a wife and family as an accomplishment in its own right, they’d already taken their nearest best option to the altar. The men that were left and still single, well, they considered it an accomplishment that they had neither wife nor child, and never got “caught up” or “caught slippin” which likened falling in love to unprotected casual sex. They treated love like a disease you catch, and if real adult commitment was the incurable version of it, then for them family was basically death. And goodness knows, I wasn’t trying to kill anybody—what I wanted was that same-page kind of love, the kind between two people where there were a lot more answers than questions.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“It was a process that I, and perhaps every woman, knew well, the contorting of oneself around failed expectations, the twisting and turning to hide your pain from others, so that they might walk free of it, believing that we’re always all right. We call that love.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“man that ain’t got no plan for you ain’t no man at all. And he’s definitely not your man, you hear? Real men got plans for the things important to them. If he ain’t got no plan for you, then you ain’t what’s important.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“On this night, Marc would be my refuge and my punishment. Like a thousand other tiny deaths before, I wanted to expire by consumption and be reborn perhaps as somebody else. Somebody who didn’t make all the mistakes that I had. Somebody who didn’t miss seeing a friend in trouble . . . somebody who didn’t let her grandmother die alone . . . somebody who was worthy of being chosen for love . . . somebody worth staying for.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“I appreciated his belief in me, but part of me didn’t feel like he understood what I was saying. I had to work ten times harder to get ahead as a Black person, but also ten times harder as a woman on top of it. That’s just how it was, and sometimes I wondered if I was enough to meet the stakes.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Real men got plans for the things important to them. If he ain’t got no plan for you, then you ain’t what’s important.’ And I never forgot that. I might have married the wrong men, but I didn’t ever have trouble getting asked.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Excellent. Well I always look to provide as much of a story as I possibly can. It’s my job to lend perspective.” “Ms. Walker, how”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Calling the police on Black people. It doesn’t have to be true, it just has to be said.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“I could only imagine how vulnerable and exposed she must have been feeling.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“man that ain’t got no plan for you ain’t no man at all. And he’s definitely not your man, you hear? Real men got plans for the things important to them. If he ain’t got no plan for you, then you ain’t what’s important.’ And I never forgot that. I might have married the wrong men, but I didn’t ever have trouble getting asked.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“once you’re made aware of what you don’t have, it becomes the thing you dream of.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“being Black feels exhilarating—because every good thing that happens feels like a victory, even the small things.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“I feel like I’m not enough and too much, all at the same time.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“Black girls, they sure must die exhausted. So many battles to fight, through segregation, Jim Crow, which I saw firsthand, up through Civil Rights, and today, even. I know it must feel like a lot,” she said, concern in her wrinkled face.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

“If you understand that every day is a great triumph, a victory over all of the forces that would try to tear you down, then you understand how very important it is to celebrate everything that gives us the courage to keep daring for our greatest selves.”
― Jayne Allen, Black Girls Must Die Exhausted