First Comes Marriage Quotes

“I'm asking you if you'll spend the rest of your life with me.”
I stared down at my still-warm hand. Hadi's touch had been more remarkable than the question I'd spent night after night imagining. Those words did not slow time or cause music to erupt from the walls. They did not make fireworks burst from the sky or conjure up a crowd hooting congratulatory cheer.
I didn't want to accept that such life-changing words could feel so ordinary, that this moment I'd been waiting for my entire life could already be over with such little ceremony.
“Yes,” I said and then added, “But this doesn't count, okay? You still have to ask me for real.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“Maybe Mama was right, and you could learn to love someone. Maybe knowing a guy loved you was enough to flip the switch in your heart that made you love him back.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“Our Iraq was the one that lived on in our parents’ memories, frozen at the moment of their 1970s departure, immune to time.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“When Mrs. Ridha leaned in to kiss me goodbye, one of Hadi's aunts joked, “Somebody's jealous.” Then as I kissed each of his aunts goodbye, they teased, “We'll hug her longer for you,” “Hadi wishes he was me right now,” “Let your eyes take their fill of her now. Soon she'll be gone, and you'll be crying.” This banter struck the adults around us as terribly funny. Making light of unmarried couples’ sexual frustrations was practically a pastime in itself. (Not too long ago, Mrs. Ridha was sitting next to Mama on a bumpy car ride. Leaning into Mama, she'd joked, “If we were an engaged couple, this would make us so happy.”)”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“And although I did not know it at the time, I was jealous of Hadi, jealous of his joy and his trust in his choices—me, our engagement, his ring.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“I listened to Baba's unintentionally loud whisper.
“I don't know why Dr. Ridha had to make an announcement. I told him, ‘Inshallah bihal khair.’ That is not yes.”
“Shh,” Mama said. “People can hear you. Inshallah bihal khair is the way people say yes.”
“Then why did you tell me to say that? I could've told them something else.”
“And what's the problem now that he told them? Eventually people were going to find out.”
“I thought we would at least wait for some time.”
“Dear, it's done. Your daughter just got engaged. Now go sit with the men.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“With so much shame suddenly called up to the surface of my skin, I could only lament that I was being asked directly for my opinion, again. Why weren't our fathers behaving like the trope of an Arab dad, making arrangements for my future without consulting me?”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“As much as our religion extolled marriage, in my father's presence, I felt as if saying you wanted to get married was equal to saying you wanted to live with a man and have sex. The very prospect chilled me with shame. I would never say those words to him. Never.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“I was not accustomed to knowing more about future events than the adults in the room, and this knowledge felt like some sort of betrayal.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“I cursed the vagaries of American male-female relationships. At least in Islamic culture, a man secured a woman's consent to be pursued. For the first time, I saw a benefit to the directness I'd spent so many nights lamenting.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

“I remembered something Nadia had said: “When an unmarried boy and girl are alone together, the third person is the devil.”
― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story

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― Huda Al-Marashi, First Comes Marriage: My Not-So-Typical American Love Story