The Better Sister Quotes

“A word of advice: if the sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
if I should die before I wake,
I’ll wait for you at Shadow Lake.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“For a wife and a mother, there’s apparently no such thing as a “home office.” Home meant Adam and Ethan wandering in whenever they couldn’t find something, had a question, or stumbled upon a movie on cable they thought I’d be interested in. It wasn’t until I tried to do my job under a shared roof with my family that I realized that neither Ethan nor even Adam truly understood that my job involved actual work.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Note to self: the least sexy phrase in the English language is “What’s wrong?”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“some people simply choose to march to their own beat, even if they can keep perfect time with the rest of the band.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister: now the #1 Worldwide Amazon Prime TV series

“This kind of comment is how we know we’re winning the war. #Runningscared #snowflake”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Because she was a woman, I trusted her.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Remember: children in the back seat cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause children. Hey, what’s the difference between a G spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually look for a golf ball. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fowls.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Ethan groaned in embarrassment. “Oh my god, what was that? I sounded like a total chode.” It was his new favorite word for someone who was a jerk. I had to look it up in the Urban Dictionary.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Now here’s the thing about people who swear by routines. When they decide to break from the usual, they go big. The Greek salad is replaced by a large pepperoni pizza. The skipped day at the gym becomes a month of couch-potatoing.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“Did you know that in survey after survey conducted by women’s magazines, those three words were the ones that men most wanted to hear in bed? Please. Don’t. Stop.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“If only it were so easy. Real-world bad dreams are much worse.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister

“She took the statement as verification. “No wonder you’ve been walking around with a limp. A word of advice: if the sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.” I couldn’t help myself. It was so inappropriate, I started to laugh. “Remember: children in the back seat cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause children. Hey, what’s the difference between a G spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually look for a golf ball. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fowls.”
― Alafair Burke, The Better Sister