Why Children Matter Quotes

“Liberty is not a middle position between legalism and license; it is another thing entirely. We have a hard time with this. Liberty is not moderate legalism or moderated license. Liberty is stricter than legalism, and liberty is freer than license.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“If you do not discipline your children effectively, you hate them.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“One writer has helpfully noted that education is about formation, not so much information.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“If you have told twenty-eight people this week that “he missed his nap today” as an excuse for his disobedience, then perhaps you ought to re-evaluate. We all know there are times when this is not an excuse but a reasonable explanation. But if you find yourself resorting to excuses all the time, then you are just trying to get people to overlook your lack of wisdom and discipline.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“You even need to rejoice when they want to leave home and do their own thing, whether that involves joining the Navy or going away to college. Hopefully, as a parent, you actually are preparing for them to grow up—and not just to keep having nice conversations with Mom. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Sons leave, daughters are given. There are many sentimental, conservative, and evangelical parents who are at war with this and want to put that day off. When parents chafe because their children have jobs or spouses and children which prevent them from spending time with them, they are struggling against the way God designed the world.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“God is mighty to save, and He saves with singing. Now we know from the story of the whole Bible that saving people involves sacrifice, blood, and things being broken. He who knew no sin was made to be sin for us, but He did it with singing. Not only did Jesus give thanks the night He instituted the meal, but afterward they sang a psalm, and then they went out (Matt. 26:30; Mark 14:26). Jesus literally sang as He was preparing to go to the cross. So, the sacrifices that you will make for your children should be something you can sing over. If there is not a song in it, it is not a biblical sacrifice. Without a song, it is a poor-me, look-at-the-martyr-go sacrifice, and those kinds of sacrifices have a very poor return. You are not just supposed to sing over your children when they are being adorable, asleep in their bed, and you can be at peace with them since they are not misbehaving at the moment. Life is messier than that, and the whole thing—including the mess—should be met with a song. The delight that we are imitating is not an unrealistic delight. This kind of delight takes account of the world as it is, and even so, it rejoices. You sing over your children when you are sacrificing for them, when you are taking the hit for them, and when they have no idea what you are giving up for them.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“that the severest blow of retaliation for that sin fell upon Himself. What kind of God is this? God gave Adam a perfect world, a perfect wife, a perfect environment, a perfect commission, a perfect vocation, and then, even when Adam and Eve transgressed, doing the one thing in that perfect world that was not permitted, even then God promised that the seed of the woman would destroy the seed of the serpent, crushing its head (Gen. 3:15). Imitate that. The environment of your home should be full of grace. When you have a home filled with grace, it is not without standards. You are not introducing moral anarchy. Grace is not an amorphous, gelatinous mass. Grace has a backbone. However, when the standards are broken, the heaviest sacrifices in the work of restoration are made by the guardians of grace, not by enforcers of law, finger-pointers, parental accusers, or people who correct in a nasal tone of self-pity.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“Discipline by principle means that your system of discipline makes sense. It is orderly. It is not a chaos of commandments that depend upon the emotional state of Mom or Dad at the time the directives are delivered.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“Hardship in a story is grace; hardship without a story is just pain. Childrearing is the opportunity that you have to love your children in preparation for a harvest, but that means you need to have the harvest in mind.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“Jesus literally sang as He was preparing to go to the cross. So, the sacrifices that you will make for your children should be something you can sing over. If there is not a song in it, it is not a biblical sacrifice.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“The whole system of the penitentiary was built by the state to do the familial work of discipline, which the civil magistrate is not competent to do. The civil magistrate is assigned the sword (Rom. 13), not the spanking spoon.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“was there because I was a Wilson. My family membership was never more secure than when I was sitting there, disciplined.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter

“Imitation is absolutely crucial for childrearing. You do not want your children imitating you unless you are imitating God.”
― Douglas Wilson, Why Children Matter