The Infinite Noise Quotes

“I don't even like me, why the hell would anyone else?'
'Adam.'
Fuck. Why did I say that? Now she's got her Very Concerned voice on. She puts her hands on my shoulders and turns me to face her.
'I like you.'
'You're my mother, you have to like me—'
'I like you and your father likes you'—she talks over me—'and anyone who gets to know you will like you. Sometimes that's enough. We don't always have to love ourselves in order to receive love from others. Sometimes that's how we learn to love ourselves.”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“Just because I get emo sometimes doesn’t mean I have to sit alone, in the literal dark, on the first day of holiday break. That’s a little too macabre, even for me.”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“What's the word for when you're sitting at a table with someone you don't know all that well and they maybe just implied that you're gay and you are gay and you think they were trying to be inclusive or something but you kind of shut them down because they asked out your crush earlier and you really don't want to be having this conversation and now there's all this weird, unsaid stuff in the air that's making it hard to focus on your debate prep?

Is there a word for that?”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“Another shuddering inhale. God, this is hard. His blue warmth is starting to bleed through the cracks in the wall and I want to cry with relief. “I was a fucking coward,” I finish. And then—just when I was hoping a dam would burst—the wall just dissolves, letting the blue-green wash over me, clearing out the muck in my veins for the first time in months. “I feel like I should apologize too,” Adam starts, and I immediately jump in to stop him. “No, just let me,” he insists. Another deep breath in for both of us. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this—about us. And I think I was too wrapped up in my own shit before. I was so worried about making you feel sad that I didn’t think. I didn’t let you in. And I put a lot of pressure on you to be the stable one—the normal one—in the relationship, which is pretty fucking ironic. Your power is cool and everything”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“But that’s not totally it, is it? I bring up Adam because he should be here. I like Caitlin, and I notice she smells good as she walks toward me, but if there’s anyone I want to stand next to in a poorly lit gym, making fun of the DJ and avoiding our classmates, it’s Adam. I’m not really sure what to do with this information.”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“The other corner of his mouth twitches like he's trying to keep the butterflies in too and he glances down at his plate, his dark eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks.
I've never wanted to kiss anyone more.
Oh.
Oh.
"Caleb?" He's far away again as I hear blood rushing in my ears. "Caleb? Are you okay?"
The cold, blue spike of his worry is like dunking my head into a bucket of ice and I snap out of my own thoughts. He's looking at me again, the sparkle gone from his eyes as they fill with concern.
"Yeah," I grunt, my voice sounding not like me at all. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I-"
I can't tell him that I was thinking about leaping across the table and kissing him but I need to say something to explain why I've been--I'm assuming--staring at him, open-mouthed and blank, for the last few seconds.”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise

“The other two times I've been around Chloe were like this too - she just jumps into the middle of a conversation.”
― Lauren Shippen, The Infinite Noise