The Wondering Years Quotes

“We tell ourselves our beliefs are persecuted despite being overrepresented in government, and this is especially tone-deaf when compared to the actual persecution and marginalization of people of color, women, and immigrants.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“Comfort is bondage; it promises faux relief. Discomfort and unfamiliarity are gifts that provide a type of freedom that bouys, broadens, and always benefits me in the long term.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“Too often, we make the pursuit of comfort out to be noble, and while that pursuit does have value, it's a mirage of a destination.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“On All Dogs Go to Heaven:

Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils (leashes?) and entered into eternity, it would probably go:

1) Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO
2) Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.
3) Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.
4) Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs
5) German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.
6) Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.
LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*.

While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero stars, would not recommend.

*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“On All Dogs Go to Heaven:

Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils (leashes?) and entered into eternity, it would probably go:

1) Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO
2) Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.
3) Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.
4) Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs
5) German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.
6) Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.
LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero starts, would not recommend.

*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“On All Dogs Go to Heaven:

Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils (leashes?) and entered into eternity, it would probably go:

1) Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO
2) Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.
3) Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.
4) Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs
5) German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.
6) Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.
LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. White cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero starts, would not recommend.

*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions

“If you let your eight-year-old watch Game of Thrones, I'm not going to judge you. But just know that Moana or Frozen just won't have the same kind of giddy-up once they've seen Khaleesi in sexual congress with King of the North.”
― Knox McCoy, The Wondering Years: How Pop Culture Helped Me Answer Life’s Biggest Questions