Trial by Fire Quotes

“And you, heretic! Where is she? Where is the queen?” “Have you checked your ass? I heard it's pretty roomy in there.” I spat blood, moving to hands and knees. I still had the Spear of Nine Spheres wrapped in one tight-knuckled fist, for all the good it was doing me. “You are in no position to sling insults.” The masked Mata Argis Agent had a cold voice, dark with anger. “Where is she!? What have you done to her?!” “The same thing I do to your mom every night.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“I was going be to flying around like some wacked-out Chinese martial arts movie hero by endgame, which was 200% okay with me.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“You come up to my sternum,” Suri drawled back. “Anything below tit-height is a kid or a dwarf.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“After my morning bacon and eggs, I sit on the toilet with my acoustic guitar and make up sad country songs about how annoying I am while I take a big ol’ cry-shit.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“And all roads lead here, kiddo.” “I’m not a kid!” Rin climbed to her feet, an impressive five-foot nothing, and scowled”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“I weigh a hundred and eighty pounds. This weighs less than a quarter of Hector. Do you remember why we use the backpack for training?" She looked sidelong. “Because you’re a fatass?” I mock-scowled, and reached back to grab my butt. “I’ll have you know that my ass is a supple, perky marvel of nature, young lady.” Karalti play-bowed to me, tail lashing with mirth. “Yeah! Because it’s fat!” I narrowed my eyes. “If you want to make your stand on that hill, be prepared to die on it, because I will twerk on you.” Dragons were intensely visual creatures, and the rant made Karalti squeal with laughter and cover her eyes. How she knew what twerking was, I’ll never know. “Aaaaghhh, whyyy??!” “Me and my perfect ass have no shame whatsoever, and you will regret ever questioning the mass and might of my posterior. Now, unless you want to see Uncle Hector crack walnuts with his buttcheeks, try again,” I said.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire

“morning bacon and eggs, I sit on the toilet with my acoustic guitar and make up sad country songs about how annoying I am while I take a big ol’ cry-shit.”
― James Osiris Baldwin, Trial by Fire