Ritualist Quotes

“In classic gamer style, they were ready to throw themselves against overwhelming odds.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Tomatoes. Why tomatoes?  Think of it like this: Strength was how hard you could throw a tomato. Dexterity was how fast you could get to a tomato and allowed you to slice the fruit without hurting yourself. Constitution let you eat rotten tomatoes without getting sick. Intelligence let you know that a tomato was a fruit, while wisdom let you know not to put it in a fruit salad. Charisma allowed you to sell a tomato-based fruit salad. Perception let you spot tomatoes”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Some people choose to be tanks… some tanks are chosen. I think you are one of the chosen.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Firstly, stop screaming at me. If you want to speak against what I have to say, or you think I am wrong, give me reasons why I am wrong. Improve your argument. Next,”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“knowledge is only evil if it is used as such,”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Pay to win was a valid strategy, right? “Guess I’m running to the bank.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Not that he was resisting. This was getting fun.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Strength was how hard you could throw a tomato. Dexterity was how fast you could get to a tomato and allowed you to slice the fruit without hurting yourself. Constitution let you eat rotten tomatoes without getting sick. Intelligence let you know that a tomato was a fruit, while wisdom let you know not to put it in a fruit salad. Charisma allowed you to sell a tomato-based fruit salad. Perception let you spot tomatoes among strawberries. Luck was your likelihood of finding a tomato in a place that only grew potatoes. Karmic luck? No idea how it related, but it sounded dangerous.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“After an initial assessment and the adjustment of a few tourniquets, he noted with relief that all of these men would survive if they got proper care in a timely manner. They loaded up the worst of the wounded and took off. Sergeant Nelson was fully absorbed in keeping the men stable… until he heard an ominous shout.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Sir, the geological surveys all came back clean! There is nothing we could have done to predict this,” the man standing in front of the toolpusher–the person in charge of every crew on the oil rig–nervously reported.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Joe woke up feeling refreshed and cheerful. Sure, he didn’t have a team to hunt with. Yes, the quests that he currently had were long-term and vastly difficult. No, he didn’t have a clear way to reach his goals... Joe suddenly wasn’t feeling quite as cheerful.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Her mouth was like a reverse black hole; instead of absorbing things, she constantly spewed noise.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“going to be used as one!” Joe chuckled as he brought over a pillow and thin blanket for Cel. “Sleep well, Tate!”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“You’ll prove them right someday because you are like King Midas. Except that instead of gold, everything that you touch seems to turn to turds!”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Hmm. Effects I want in this ritual… exclusion, yes. Don’t want it to affect me or guests. Passive scanning so it isn’t active and wasting mana if there are no targets. The goal of the whole ritual, nausea, yup. Maybe include the feeling of really needing to poo? Maybe actually make them poo if they hang around too long? I can’t imagine many people wanting to stick around if they are feeling like that.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“After the points were distributed, he was asked to input a name. Since he could never start a new one, and would be around a long time, he chose ‘Joe’ as his screen name. Somehow that hadn’t been chosen yet, most likely because there were going to be a thousand versions of ‘Shadow’ or ‘slayer’ out there.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“He thought about the stats in a way appropriate for a non-gamer. Tomatoes. Why tomatoes?  Think of it like this: Strength was how hard you could throw a tomato. Dexterity was how fast you could get to a tomato and allowed you to slice the fruit without hurting yourself. Constitution let you eat rotten tomatoes without getting sick. Intelligence let you know that a tomato was a fruit, while wisdom let you know not to put it in a fruit salad. Charisma allowed you to sell a tomato-based fruit salad. Perception let you spot tomatoes among strawberries. Luck was your likelihood of finding a tomato in a place that only grew potatoes. Karmic luck? No idea how it related, but it sounded dangerous. He”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“Plus, you actually read the terms and conditions! Wow! +1 intelligence, if you know what I mean.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“you know what is about to happen? Have you read the terms and conditions*? There was a link on the word ‘conditions’, and he selected it and read carefully through the contractual agreement and obligations. There was plenty he didn’t understand, but now he at least knew a baseline of what was expected from him. He went back to the question and selected ‘Yes’. The words flashed red. Excellent. Prepare to die. Yes / Yes”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“The rabbits had a small, blunt horn on their heads, and it seemed their main attack was jumping and bashing their opponents.”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist

“If we had a logistic sergeant in charge over there instead of that two bit luey, we-” “La-la-la!” The PFC put his hands over his ears. “I’m not hearing you say bad things about our executive officer right now! I’m not getting into logistics, administration, or politics!” When a gleam appeared in Joey’s eyes, Johnson quickly amended, “Or religion! Nope, tonight I’m drinkin’!”
― Dakota Krout, Ritualist