Lucky You Quotes

“Bodean James Gazzer had spent thirty-one years perfecting the art of assigning blame. His personal credo - everything bad that happens is someone else's fault - could, with imagination, be stretched to fit any circumstance. Bode stretched it. The intestinal unrest that occasionally afflicted him surely was the result of drinking milk taken from secretly radiated cows. The roaches in his apartment were planted by his filthy immigrant next-door neighbors. His dire financial plight was caused by runaway bank computers and conniving Wall Street Zionists; his bad luck in the South Florida job market, prejudice against English-speaking applicants. Even the lousy weather had a culprit: air pollution from Canada, diluting the ozone and derailing the jet stream”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“A well-regulated militia,” Bode added, “like they talk about in the Second Amendment.” “Oh,” said Shiner. He hadn’t read the first one yet.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals, immigrants, minorities, gun laws, assertive women and honest work.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“One day he came home to find her burning his collection of heavy-metal CDs, which she had taken to calling “devil wafers.” She”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“Bode Gazzer was five feet six and had never forgiven his parents for it. He wore three-inch snakeskin shitkickers and walked with a swagger that suggested not brawn so much as hemorrhoidal tribulation.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“I don’t care if you pack it in fucking kryptonite, that lottery ticket ain’t going up your ass.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You