How to Date Your Dragon Quotes

“Normal doesn’t exist. It was a rumor started by McCarthy in the 1950s.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“eventually, Jillian’s multitude of questions would make his head explode. She would be the only damsel in history to rescue herself through persistent interviewing.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Clarissa apparently believed that if you didn’t have to roll a guest out of your house like the blueberry girl in Willy Wonka, you were a bad hostess.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“She winced. “A party?” “There will be pie.” She frowned at him. “Do you think you can lure me to a stranger’s house with baked goods?” “It’s really good pie,”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“You know I can’t say.” But Zed was nodding. “In an unrelated note, your cousin’s an asshole.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Sometimes apathy hurts just as much as cruelty. At least when someone is yelling, you can imagine that they care.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“If she wasn’t absolutely sure that it would turn out to be an emotional disaster of Pompeii proportions, she would take Sonja’s advice and climb that man like a tree. For science.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Bael realized his earlier panic feeling had been replaced by something much warmer and sweeter. And he would never, ever tell Zed about it.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Should she roll down the window? Was it safe? At this point, it would be rude not to, but she’d always read that a woman traveling alone should ignore their instincts to be polite and err on the side of not letting an enormous man pull her through a van window and onto the human trafficking market.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“What the hell happened in there? Did Akako Tomita attack you? I will cut that woman.” “She’s a supernaturally strong ancient creature with nine blades hidden in her invisible tails.” “I would figure something out,” Sonja insisted.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“and her mother’s secret recipe spice cookies. “You have feet colder than the Wall, woman.” “You shipped me pryaniki, so I forgive your harsh foot hate,”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Zed pursed his lips and grabbed a nearby book. He placed Jillian’s hand on it and raised his hand. “Jillian Ramsay, I hereby deputize you as a law enforcement official in the Mystic Parish. Do you swear to follow Sheriff Bael Boone’s orders and uphold the law to the best of your ability?” “This is a copy of The Da Vinci Code,” she noted. “Do you swear?” “Define ‘follow orders,’ because I don’t want to accidentally enter into some sort of sex contract with Bael.” She jerked her thumb toward the sheriff, who bobbled the measuring tape he was holding and dropped it on Ted’s chest. Zed frowned. “You OK, buddy?”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“He tried to call himself Zed Oakendesk, after watching the Hobbit one too many times, but Bael refused because a man shouldn’t come up with his own nickname.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Jillian Ramsay, PhD, was driving a panel van without air-conditioning through an area known as the Devil’s Armpit.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Fair enough…Dave.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“You snuck up on me once. It won’t happen again. You think Bael is scary? I deal with grant committees!”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Why does everybody keep mentioning a tower? There’s no tower!” Bael exclaimed.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“It was bad enough that Zed came into his office to “officially rebuke” him. He wore a tie and everything. It was clipped on to his t-shirt, but it was still pretty clear Zed was wearing his Mayor hat and not his friend hat.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“It’s kind of like when a tiger adopts a baby goat at the zoo. It’s unnatural and shouldn’t warm your heart, and yet it does.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“This progress report will make Akako Tomita herself weep with gratitude that the League hired me. Okay, probably not because Akako Tomita is a scary badass who makes business suits look like armor… And I’m talking to myself, which is not something that amazing anthropological geniuses do.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Jillian sighed. “Why are our conversations never normal?” “Normal doesn’t exist. It was a rumor started by McCarthy in the 1950s.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“You know I love you and don’t like to criticize you when you’re going through one of your inevitable existential crises, but it’s just a little self-indulgent to make a murder spree about you.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Sonja had thoughtfully highlighted the portions that mentioned Jillian by name. This was what happened when you roomed with the child of a Cold War-era spy.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“More like Sonja told you not to call me because she would gladly set you on fire with the power of her brain.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“The only problem is the kudzu.” She frowned. “Well, kudzu’s a problem all over the south.” “Yeah, but our kudzu seems to be growing toward town like it’s personal.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“She wasn’t prepared for the way the humidity absorbed into her clothes, sealing them to her skin in a thick layer of sweat. She was not prepared for the distraction Bael’s ass would pose, bobbing through the brush ahead of her like a perfect peach wrapped in skin-tight denim. She was staring at it, suffering the oddest craving for peach pie,”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“She grinned at him. “Come on, be a buddy. If you pass out, I’ll carry you back to town!” Bael stopped her mid-swing, lifted her arm, examined her bicep and made a skeptical face. “I would go get Zed and he would carry you back to town,” she conceded.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“So it’s better to indebt them to people who have threatened to mass murder you?” “Better the devil that’s far away than the devil who lives in your backyard?” he guessed.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“But that was more than a hundred years ago,” she protested. He didn’t mean to tilt his head and look at her like she was an adorable imbecile, but honestly. “The same creatures who were in charge of the League a hundred years ago are in charge of the League now, Jillian. It’s one of the benefits of being a magie. We live longer than you.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon

“Unfortunately, it was only nine a.m., and Bathtilda insisted that pie was not breakfast. At least, not a complete breakfast. So she served it with bacon, which was why she was Bael’s favorite aunt.”
― Molly Harper, How to Date Your Dragon