No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day Quotes

“or rehab. I mean, in this day and age shouldn’t Santa be an athletic, transsexual vegan who drives a hybrid and leaves you an educational toy along with the address of the nearest charity shop so you know where to donate it once you’ve finished with it?”
― Tracy Bloom, No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day

“I wonder why Santa is fat?’ pondered Braindead. ‘He’s a terrible role model really, isn’t he? “Listen, children, if you’re good then the fat man will bring you presents, and don’t forget to leave him alcohol and cake so he gets even fatter.” What’s that teaching our kids, eh? That the nicest, kindest, loveliest man in the world, who we allow to break into our homes every year, is a fat bastard who has a serious eating disorder. Santa has issues. He needs rebranding”
― Tracy Bloom, No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day