Other People's Houses Quotes

“Sometimes life is just what it is, and the best you can hope for is ice cream.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“She herself, like every woman she knew, only recognized her own youthful perfection in retrospect, with deep regret not for losing it but for not seeing it at the time.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“I don’t think she let herself go Charlie, I think she just let’s herself be. I can’t expect Frances to do all that she's done in the last twenty years including simply gaining twenty years and not look different from the twenty-five year old I feel in love with.
If she’s comfortable carrying extra weight, fair enough, if it bothers her enough she’ll change it.
I don’t get it when guys are like ‘oh my wife isn’t like she used to be’. Why would she be? Don’t you expect to change as you get older? I mean I’ll look at the twenty-three year old as happily as the next guy. They’re pretty and their bodies are gorgeous, but what the f*** would we talk about, juice cleanses and youtube?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“It was one of the paradoxes of parenting that the children you wished you had were actually the versions of your own children that other parents saw.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“She’d read somewhere that hurricanes had winds so powerful that a piece of straw could pierce an oak, thrown so hard it became deadly beyond its weight. She was the straw, pushed by forces she only barely understood.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“People did weird shit, usually for boring reasons, and Frances tried not to judge people without knowing all the facts.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“She got home, piled the bags on the counter, checked the message light (nothing), the dishwasher (needed emptying), the trash bags (needed changing), let the dogs out (needed to pee), and then started unloading. As usual, she had bought several of something she already had several of, and forgotten to buy several things she had none of. You would think after four-plus decades on the planet she’d be able to remember the difference between a kitchen roll and a toilet roll, but she invariably had none of one and enough of the other for a nuclear winter. She also tended to either have four tons of pasta or half a packet of elbows, three tins of anchovies or artichoke hearts or capers—none of which she used very much—and no tuna at all, which she used once or twice a week. She would run out of coffee filters one painful morning then keep buying them every time she went to the store, until eventually she had four large boxes and finally understood that she Had Enough. Then she’d assume she had enough of them forever, would stop buying them completely, and would eventually run out again at the worst possible moment. Why was this so hard?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“You grew up in a family, you left that family and then, life permitting, you built your own family using much of the same material.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“I don’t think she let herself go, Charlie. I think she just lets herself be.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Maybe your life is a well-orchestrated series of elegant vignettes, with perfect photo opportunities every ten minutes, but if you’re anything like the rest of us then you’re lurching from one near-disaster to the next, crossing your legs every time you cough so you don’t pee your pants after having had four children.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“If I was a toilet, where would people poop? Would people poop in my mouth?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“But I want to be a toilet.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Look, I don’t care how shitty you feel, you get married with a commitment to not cheat, and you keep it. Sleep around after the divorce, not before.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Does the day have a Y in it?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“You had to STAY married in the brief pauses between BEING married and those pauses so often had to be rescheduled.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Mind you, these were professional children, the offspring of creative people and deep thinkers, who’d marveled over them as babies, encouraged them to express themselves as toddlers, and wished they’d been more consistent and mean to them now that they were old enough to sass back.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“mishegoss”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“That’s what I thought,” said Frances, walking by and farting silently as she went. She was opposed to chemical warfare on principle, but sometimes you just had to go with what you had at hand.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“She’d had many lovers before Michael, and felt pretty good and liberated about the whole thing. But she’d also felt anxious and slightly crazy and out of control, and the safety and warmth of her relationship with Michael had felt like a safe harbor, not a dry dock.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“When she and Sara had been planning their wedding, Iris had been struck by how much attention was paid to getting married, and how little to staying married. Entire magazines were devoted to centerpieces and whimsical take-home trinkets, but where were the articles about getting used to the smell of each other’s poop? Where was the advice on how to end an argument about who was sicker when you both caught the same cold, or how to decide which one of you got up at night for the baby, or how to agree to put an old and suffering pet to sleep?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“She was like a cat, his wife, in many ways. Mysterious. Beautiful. Happy to be alone. And totally disinterested in pleasing anyone else unless she wanted to. Not in a mean way, at all, but in a way that didn’t expect anyone to do anything for her, either.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“don’t get it when guys are like, ‘Oh, my wife isn’t like she used to be.’ Why would she be? Don’t you expect to change as you get older?”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“You’re supposed to walk away with only the very occasional backward glance, and only appreciate years later, as you hold your own child, how painful that was for your parents. As Vonnegut so elegantly said: “So it goes.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“was one of the paradoxes of parenting that the children you wished you had were actually the versions of your own children that other parents saw. The secretly much nicer versions. Thank God parents talked to each other, Frances thought, or we’d all be circling the drain wishing our kids were like everyone else’s. However, Lucas”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Everything seemed much calmer on the surface, but any minute an improvised explosive device could cut you off at the knees or a sniper could get you in the back of the neck. You could never fully relax, and there was a lot of tiptoeing about and quizzing other kids for”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“I want you to poop in my mouth!” Lally was yelling. “My daddy said people would poop in my mouth!” She was lying on the ground screaming. “He said so!”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Jennifer was shocked. “She doesn’t have a phone?” Brief pause. “Pretty much every kid in ninth grade has a phone. What if she needs to call you?” Frances said, “Well, apparently she could borrow one of the many phones around her. I can’t believe every kid has a phone. They’re very expensive and that’s not including the monthly bill.” Jennifer looked genuinely concerned. “No, really, they all do.” She got to her feet, the meeting apparently over. “I’m sorry, I have a staff meeting to go to.” She held out her hand. “Always a pleasure, Frances. You should consider getting Ava a phone, though. Not having one really singles her out.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“You,” she’d said, “are the alpha man in your daughter’s life. You are the model. Every other man in her life will be measured against you, and her relationships will be measured against ours. If you speak to her disrespectfully she will accept that level of shit from a future boyfriend.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Sometimes she was critical for no real reason she could discern, and didn’t like it in herself. If it had been conscious she could stop herself from doing it, but it seemed to come from nowhere. She’d heard somewhere that a sad portion of your thoughts are just society’s opinions, disguised as inner monologue.”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses

“Frances barely had room in her head for her own feelings plus a running grocery list. She felt like the Mad Hatter: No room! No room!”
― Abbi Waxman, Other People's Houses