Puck Me Baby Quotes

“I’m not scared of bugs in general, but by God, a spider isn’t a bug, it’s an eight-legged devil escaped from the depths of hell to torment humanity with its creepiness,”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“I don’t know. I guess he doesn’t want his grandmother to know that he’s living in sin with a woman he got pregnant out of wedlock. So it’s going to be our little secret for now.” At this point, I’m pretty sure my eyes are bulging out of my head, but Mandy’s voice is breezy as she adds, “No, seriously, it’s fine with me. He’s a great guy and the sex is incredible. So yeah, with all the orgasming I’m doing, I really have no reason to complain. You want to say hi?” Before I can recover from the shock of hearing Mandy tell her mother about our incredible, orgasm-heavy sex life, she taps a button and holds the phone up between us, chirping cheerily, “Say hi to Alexi, Mom! You’re on speakerphone.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“You have this way of making totally benign things sound…absolutely filthy.” Her breath rushes out as her cheeks flush pinker than they were before.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“I’m always in the mood to cook.” I brush her hair out of her eyes. “And I’m definitely in the mood to be alone with you. Just you and me and no one we have to pretend to be happy for.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“I do love you.” Tears rise in my eyes. “I love you so much, and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m so fucking sorry.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“I’m choking on my own tongue, frantically trying to think of something to say to repair the damage Mandy’s worked in the past ninety seconds, when a familiar voice fills the air. “I’m sorry, Alexi. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen.” “Diana?” I croak. “Yes, it’s me, and Mandy’s Mom has no idea you’re a champ in the sack. You’re safe, my friend.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“Amanda: Ugh. Now I’m crying for real. Why do you have to be such a great fucking friend? Diana: Because I like to make you cry. I like to shower you with my sweet love and then watch your gratitude spill out of your pretty melted-chocolate eyeballs while I soak up your tear juice on a sponge. Amanda: Now I’m laughing and crying. There’s snot everywhere. It’s gross. Diana: You’re welcome. I love you.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby

“But he also smells like a cross between a redwood forest and homemade frosting, moves like a sexy beast who is completely comfortable in his powerful body, and emits a furnace-like heat that makes me want to snuggle into the crook of his arm and purr until he pets me the way he petted me the last time we were this close.”
― Lili Valente, Puck Me Baby