Spirit Witch Quotes

“Cleanliness is next to godliness, whatever that means. But the trouble with that sort of approach to life is that it never ends. Yes, you can take time to pick the weeds from the pavement outside and scrub your skirting board and make sure there’s no dust collecting in any evil corners but you had to keep on doing it. If I had to do it all this week and then again next week and then the week after that, why not just leave it till next month? Or preferably next year?”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“You’d think that Ivy, of all people, would understand that but she didn’t truly understand what it meant to be lazy, not like a cat did. It was an art form; it required dedication that even humans like Ivy weren’t capable of.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Life is full of impossible choices, you know that. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time. There’s hardly ever a right way and a wrong way, there’s just your way. I take the lift and you take the stairs but we still meet together at the top,”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Thank fuck,’ Brutus said. ‘We need to depart this hellhole tout suite.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“I’ve never quite understood people who aren’t good patients. I am an excellent patient. You want to bring me hot lemon with honey? Thank you very much. Mop my brow? Please, go ahead. Spoon-feed me? Well, if you insist.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“There was a brief mutter from underneath the table. ‘Thank fuck,’ Brutus said. ‘We need to depart this hellhole tout suite.’ I started and looked down at him. Had I really just heard that? He blinked innocently and started to lick his paws.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Herblorists enjoyed long-winded arguments about which type of salt was most effective. I had heard that the Order even employed a selmelier, like a sommelier but for salt instead of wine so the end result was far less enjoyable but there was less need for several ibuprofen afterwards.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch