Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You Quotes

“Leaders realize that the two types of traumas – the Absence of necessary love and care (Type A traumas) and Bad things that should not happen (Type B traumas) – interfere with the normal process of maturation and that traumas can produce dividedness. They know that unchecked sin and pride can also be great barriers to maturity. Therefore, they have built and modeled a community where individuals can honestly admit their pain and sufferings and receive support and guidance for healing and growth.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“One sign that you have found the characteristics of your heart is when your passion, purpose, talents and pain all come together and begin defining who you are.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“Particularly during teenage years people need other adults, in addition to their parents, to encourage and develop their identities and their talents. They need older people to learn from, they need friends to encourage them, and they need younger children to teach. Maturing means modeling after those who have matured, and modeling for those who are younger. It takes belonging to a caring family and to a caring community. It takes receiving from them and giving to them. It takes a lifetime, and there can be joy all along the way.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“The joy of being with others at school, or finding protection from authority figures was lost. Being very small and hurt, with no way to protect himself, he began to behave defiantly against the principal, who punished him abusively.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“If they do not find eyes that are watching them with joy, they will not attach securely, or if there is no one there at all, they monitor the world for anything that could make them feel bad. They develop fear bonds and fear-based identities. They live by avoidance because they have no hope of getting to joy from the fear in which they are stuck. Infants need someone who is paying attention to them and will help them feel joy, or they will fail to thrive. In fact, these babies will not even explore or seek trails that lead back to joy.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“As their eyes connect, there is a sparkle that energizes them both. They look forward to being together because they desire the special closeness they share. When the shared bond is governed by fear, anxiety builds as the time approaches to be together. Fear can also develop from being apart. The fear bonds and love bonds we experience during formative years determine the way we motivate ourselves. When fearful, we threaten ourselves with what will happen if we do not get to work on time, lose weight, save money, or keep our partner from getting mad. We think about things that could go wrong. We worry, feel guilty, run from shame, and blame others. We become emotionally paralyzed. We operate way under our potential.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“There are two essentially different and incompatible types of bonds – one based on fear and the other on love. Fear bonds are formed around avoiding negative feelings and pain. Love bonds are formed around desire, joy and seeking to be with people who are important to us. Fear bonds energize people to avoid pain – like rejection, fear, shame, humiliation, abandonment, guilt or even physical abuse. Love bonds motivate people to live in truth, closeness, joy, peace, perseverance, kindness and authentic giving. (See the chart on page 69.)”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“The infant’s fundamental need is to receive unconditional love and care. Receiving always precedes giving. We will never be able to effectively give until we have received. When our fundamental dependency needs have been met, we are motivated to become independent and start caring for ourselves. If our primary dependency needs are not met, we will spend the rest of our lives trying to get others to take care of us. Therefore, for most of this stage, parents need to supply the infant’s needs by recognizing when the young person needs to be fed or hugged or comforted or rocked to sleep. Training and discipline are necessary as the baby enters toddlerhood, of course, but good training does not undermine the overriding need for the 0 – 3 child to learn to receive.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“Similarly, people without proper joy strength, which means an underdeveloped “joy center” in the right side of the brain, can appear “just fine” for the first 20 or sometimes even 30 years of life, but eventually life’s wear and tear reveals the faulty construction, and the painful process of collapsing begins. A house without a firm foundation, for example, cannot withstand the stress of a hailstorm or an earthquake, nor can it survive the pressure of remodeling. Similarly, a person without a firm joy foundation cannot withstand the stress of breakups or losses, nor survive the pressure of growth and maturity.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“In fact, some neurologists now say that the basic human need is to be the “sparkle in someone’s eye.” When you catch a glimpse of a child’s face as she runs toward an awaiting parent with arms outstretched in unrestrained joy, you can witness firsthand that incredible power that comes from “being the sparkle in someone’s eye.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“His work in us is to bring redemption to all of the traumas that have broken us, and our work is to strive for maturity as we progress to wholeness. The word “redemption” is sometimes difficult to understand, simply because it is used in so many contexts. Here is the way it is used in the Life Model: Redemption is God bringing good out of bad, leading us to wholeness, and the experience of God’s amazing power. Redemption means that out of our greatest pain, can come our most profound personal mission in life.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“It takes maturity and tenacity on our part to achieve wholeness, and that means persistently dealing with our pain.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“Three professional experiences – one striking conclusion: Students grow in their faith through relationships, wounded people heal in relationships, and unbelievers come to the Lord through relationships.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“Traumas not only cause injury and pain, traumas block or slow the process of maturity.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition

“You can be incredibly proud of those you have helped in making progress with maturity, and that will give you increased confidence that your own journey is on its proper course. You will find that others are growing as you are growing. Experiencing God, loving one another, and bearing each other’s burdens will become richer and more natural as you learn more about receiving and giving life. Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You is about receiving and giving life, reaching a higher level of maturity, receiving healing for life’s inevitable traumas, and having your life governed by the joy of the Lord. But this process does not happen in isolation. It takes family and it takes community, as you will learn in the pages ahead.”
― E. James Wilder, Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition