Hate to Love You Quotes

“When I see you’re hurting, I want to wipe it away. When I see you doubting yourself, I want to give you the best damned pep talk in history. When you cry, I want to make you smile. When you laugh, I want to make you laugh harder. When you moan in my arms, I want to make you dissolve into a puddle. When you’re insecure about how I feel about you, I want to replace that with a proclamation that I love you so hard that I never want you to question us again.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“No one should ever make you feel guilty for not opening up about yourself. You'll want to open up to the right ones.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Fuck the haters.”
― Tijan, Hate To Love You

“I came off as a bitch, but trust me. There was a reason. I’d learned it was better to start swinging first than to get hit by someone else, metaphorically speaking.”
― Tijan, Hate To Love You

“and if he could’ve floated forward on a magic carpet and taken her in his arms, he’d already be singing “A Whole New World.”
― Tijan, Hate To Love You

“He shook his head, grinning. “You’re like a guy’s wet dream. Do you realize that?”

I smiled, shrugging. “I like to think I’m my own wet dream.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Oh, look at that.” Her hips had an extra sway to them. “Even her ass looks like a bitch.”
― Tijan, Hate To Love You

“First rule of Clarke Club. We don’t know each other.”
― Tijan, Hate To Love You

“I couldn’t talk. Why couldn’t I…

The room was tipping over now.

I heard muffled voices.

Then it was all black again.

I fainted.

In the grand scheme of things, it was embarrassing, but survivable.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“You’re just as beautiful to me as you were the day you were born. The whole moldy pickle look is in.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“I knew my rage had ascended DEFCON level, but my voice was ice cold, and I was a shell of a person.

The rage was banked inside. My outside looked completely calm.

Even I got the chills from me.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“I was in my room that night when Shay called me. Grateful for Missy’s absence, like always, I answered and leaned back in my chair. “What’s up, Coleman?”

He paused a beat before laughing under his breath. “Coleman. Okay. I get it. We’re like chill buddies? Is that it?”

Was there a better description for us? I shrugged to myself. “We kinda hate each other but still seek each other out. I figured it’s time to move on from calling you ‘That Guy I Hate’ in my head to a name. Last names seem fitting. You can keep calling me Clarke.”

“I never know what I’m going to get with you”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Hot guys. Guys who make girls drool. Guys who warrant attention and jealousy. And since we’re on the topic, if you ever see me in public, act like you don’t know me.”

“You’re a nutcase.”

“Just go right past me.” I brushed my hands against each other, going the opposite direction. “Like two passing buses in the night.”

“The phrase is two passing ships in the night, and no. I’m not a complete asshole. If I see you in public, I reserve my right to come over and piss you off. I’m starting to get enjoyment from this on the daily.”

“No.” I almost gasped. “Daily?”

“Daily,” he drawled.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Which was the truth. Kind of. Then I blurted out, “I love him.”

“You love Shay?”

“No.” I threw her a look. “I love Linde. We have a wild and forbidden passion for each other. Of course, it’s Shay. He’s the guy I’m dating.”

“I know.” She held her hands up. “You hold your cards close to your chest. I just wanted to make sure.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Missy and her crew left, I was alone. Like really alone, like pre-Shay alone.

It felt glorious.

Well, maybe not. I didn’t feel right about Shay, but I’d see him in a day. We could sort out whatever happened on his street. Till then, I studied to my heart’s content. I made trips to my dorm’s computer lab, and I even got naughty. I stole some of the computer’s printing papers, stuffing them down the front of my shirt. My inner dork was coming out full-force. It was like I’d been around “cool” people too much for my system. It was rebelling. It needed an outlet, and I indulged. All of the colored highlighters came out. Not just the primary colors, all of them. I used pink for one textbook, and added purple on the next.

All caution was thrown to the wind. It was only eight, but I went to the library.

I really let my freak out.

An energy drink. Coffee from the cart. My own Twizzlers this time. Even a bag of chocolate candies. I was going nuts on the caffeine and sugar, and then I found an empty study room on the top and most isolated floor in the library.

I stayed until midnight.

It was some of the best studying I’ve had. Ever. Mind-blowing.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“He rested on his back, loosening his hold on me, and I turned over so I was lying on my side, facing him. I rested a hand on his chest, and his eyes watched mine until his hand found my own.

I murmured, “I don’t regret that.”

He hooked his finger around mine. “Really?”

I nodded. I couldn’t, not anymore. Not after we made out in my closet, then my bed, and after I was practically begging him for it at the bar.

I croaked, “I touched your bulge.”

He started laughing, curving more into me. “You did.”

“It was the most momentous and memorable part of the night.”

I was grinning.

He lifted his head. “Really?”

He wasn’t.

I nodded. “For sure. I became the definition of a wanton hussy.”

He started laughing again.

I kept going, “I can imagine all the stories that start with, ‘The day she touched my bulge’, or ‘The day I touched his bulge,’ ‘The moment my hand felt his jeans, and his dick swelled underneath’, or even . . .” I was laughing now, “‘I laid my hands on him, right over his jeans, and he rose up. He answered my call. I called out, Come forth, hard penis, and answer milady’s beckoning. My hips call upon your touch. You must heed and give forth plentiful of your pleasure.’”

He continued laughing, wrapping his arms around me, and somehow he had curled his entire body around mine again. I was lying on my back once more, and he stopped, lifting his head from my neck. He gazed down at me, shifting to rise up on his elbow. He caught some hairs and tucked them behind my ear, letting his hand linger there, holding me gently.

He grew serious. “I want to keep doing this.”

I rested my hand over his on my face. “Fucking me from behind?”

He grinned and then sobered. “No. This, whatever it is. We don’t need to put words to it, if you don’t want to.”

I groaned. “Please, don’t. I tend to get bitchy when words are applied to situations”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“What are you doing over here? You look like a creeping psycho.”

I almost smiled. “That’s the point. I want people to feel weird and look away.”

“You’re the only person I have ever met who wants to look like a creeping psycho”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Someone called out the name Becca, and she waved at them. She said to me, pointing over her shoulder, “My friends are calling. See you tomorrow.”

Aby waved, and I was left with another discovery.

I half-whispered to myself, “Her name isn’t actually Becs?” That made a whole lot more sense.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Your brother’s been really nice.”

I frowned.

She explained further, “He told me he’s there for me, too. Or you. He said you’re all prickly on the outside, but that’s to keep others from hurting your soft gooey inside. You’re all bark, but no bite.”

“Negative. There’s bite. A lot of bite. I’m a rabid dog, actually.”

She laughed, wiping at her eyes again. “He said you’d say that but that I shouldn’t believe you. You might snarl at him, but not me, not if I’m hurting.”

I kicked at the ground. Why did I feel like crying?”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“You know Shay Coleman?” the guy asked, sounding doubtful.

The girl was still laughing. She had no clue what was going on.

“I’m in a class with him. It’s all good. I’m not like a stalker or anything.” I shuddered at that thought, and as the girl pulled me forward and into a large crowd in the bar, I couldn’t help but think about the control a stalker had. They chose when to say something. They chose when to approach, when to look, when to retreat. They had all the control.

That was creepy as fuck.

I never wanted to be a stalker. Why was I thinking about that?”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“I was fine with letting the door slam behind me. It matched my mood, and fuck those two neighbors who hissed at anything that moved in the hallway. We were people. People had to move to exist.

Their door opened and one appeared, her face already scrunched in annoyance.

I gave her the middle finger, gliding right past. “Save it. I’m in a hurry.”

She huffed but retreated back into her room. Their door closed with a soft click.

I rolled my eyes, hurrying down the stairs. ”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“The door was still open, so I shut it and was returning to my desk when I braked. There was a backpack resting on the other side of my desk chair. It wasn’t mine. It wasn’t Missy’s. I was pretty sure it wasn’t Holly’s or the cousin’s.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.

“Huh?” she barked, her head swinging around to me.

A quick glance confirmed what I already knew. She was drunk.

“Nothing.”

She pulled out one of her shirts, but it wasn’t her normal pajama top. She was really drunk. I picked up Shay’s bag and checked the contents to make sure it was his. It was. I saw his planner with his name scrawled at the top, so I zipped that bag and put it in the back of my closet. No one needed to go through it. I didn’t think Missy would, but I just never knew.

Dropping into my chair, I picked up my phone to text Shay as Missy fell to the floor. I looked up to watch. I couldn’t not see this.

I was tempted to video it, but I was being nice. For once.

As Missy wrestled with her jeans and lifted them over her head to throw into her closet, I texted Shay.

Me: You left your bag here.

Missy let out a half-gurgled moan and a cry of frustration at the same time. She didn’t stand, instead crawling to the closet. She grabbed another pair of pants.

Those weren’t her pajamas, either.

As she pulled them on—or tried since her feet kept eluding the pants’ hole—my phone buzzed back.

Coleman: Can I pick it up in the morning?

I texted back.

Me: When?

Missy got one leg in. Success. I wanted to thrust my fist in the air for her.

My phone buzzed again.

Coleman: Early. My playbook is in there.

I groaned.

Me: When is early? I’m in college, Coleman. Sleeping in is mandatory.

Coleman: Nine too early for you? I can come back to get it now.

Nine was doable.

Me: Let’s do an exchange. You bring me coffee, and I’ll meet you at the parking lot curb with your bag.

Coleman: Done. Decaf okay?

I glared at my phone.

Me: Back to hating you.

Coleman: Never stop that. The world’s equilibrium will be fucked up. I have to know what’s right and wrong. Don’t screw with my moral compass, Cute Ass.

Oh, no! No way.

Me: Third rule of what we don’t talk about. No nicknames unless they reconfirm our mutual dislike for each other. No Cute Ass.

His response was immediate.

Coleman: Cunt Ass?

A second squeak from me.

Me: NO!

I could almost hear him laughing.

Coleman: Relax. I know. Clarke’s Ass. That’s how you are in my phone.

The tension left my shoulders.

Me: See you in the morning. 9 sharp.

Coleman: Night.

I put my phone down, but then it buzzed once again.

Coleman: Ass.

I was struggling to wipe this stupid grin off my face. All was right again. I plugged my phone in, pulled my laptop back toward me, and sent a response to Gage’s email. I’ll sit with you, but only if we’re in the opposing team’s section.

He’d be pissed, but that was the only way. I turned the computer off, and by then Missy was climbing up the ladder in a bright pink silk shirt. The buttons were left buttoned, and her pajama bottoms were a pair of corduroy khakis. I was pretty sure she didn’t brush her teeth, but before my head even hit the pillow, she was snoring”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“The four formed a clique, and while I wasn’t really in the clique, I hung out with them on occasion. I was Kristina’s friend, but she was the type who was friendly with everyone. If this had been high school, I would’ve given up because Kristina would’ve had thirty other friends. I was lucky. I got her the first week of college when she didn’t have umpteen friends already. Besides the other three, I knew Kristina considered me one of her closest gal pals at college.

I needed it. I needed her. My other option was my stuffy roommate and her friends.

I frowned. Maybe I was the problem?

Nah.

I shook my head and moved forward with the line. That couldn’t be the case. I oozed warmth. I drew people to me like sap to bears. Come and eat me, animals.

My lip twitched.

Even my own jokes were pathetic.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“My brother was standing behind some trees, waving at me.

I hurried my pace. “Gage. What are you doing here?” I pushed him deeper into the trees and looked over my shoulder. The walkway was clear. My shoulders sagged in relief. I gave his chest a good whack. “First rule of Clarke Club. We don’t know each other.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You

“Her best friend and the best friend’s cousin also lived in our dorm. I went once to an ice cream shop with them and saw the pity in their eyes when Missy relayed the lack of Titanic in my life. I was put in the help category. Meaning, they thought I needed help and I was no longer in their group because it’s obvy I’m weird.

Dirty Dancing, A Walk to Remember, Hope Floats, and so many other movies were the repertoire of their conversation. I wasn’t allowed in. There were inside jokes, inside quotes, even a weird inside-type of laugh.

The one friend I did have was Kristina. She was a gift from above, though she lived two floors below, and I always jumped at her movie night invite.

Sometimes, I was tempted to ask how high, but I refrained. She wouldn’t have gotten the joke.

See, I could have my own inside jokes. Take that, snotty roommate and two friends.

Insert karate chop here.”
― Tijan, Hate to Love You