The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.” ― Ellen DeGeneres”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.” - Ellen DeGeneres”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.” ― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.” ― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.” ― Ellen DeGeneres, My Point... And I Do Have One”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.” ― Ellen DeGeneres “You know, it's hard work to write a book.”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.” ― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding”
― John Jennings, The Wit and Wisdom of Ellen DeGeneres