Out Standing in the Field Quotes

“Certain men have been culturally wired to believe that their misconduct is acceptable. And culture is something that can be rewired-- but this requires leaders who are willing.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“How many times have I heard people say "boys will be boys" as an excuse for their misbehaviour?”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“How many generations will it take for military culture as a whole to not only open its doors to women but to embrace the differences they bring to the team and to actually seek them out?”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“I could never understand why it is that men are passionate about issues, while women are considered frustrated when they show the same level of fervour and zeal.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“We shared a common mission, which meant we got in plenty of shit, together: surviving as a tam was what created esprit de corps. It had nothing to do with wearing common badges, the colour of skin, or having all the same body parts. It was surviving shit together.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“What surprised me most, though, was that the majority of my soldiers had no reservations about working for a woman. hey repeatedly told me that they couldn't care less if I'd been black, tall, fat, ugly, or bald.

All they wanted was good leadership.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Subconsciously they were trying to place me in a box, nice and neatly defined by their own beliefs, upbringing, and paradigms about women. Paradoxically, I was fighting it every step of the way because I wanted to fit in with them, instead of just letting us all adapt to one another, most naturally. In many ways, I was strengthening their discomfort by trying to artificially undo everything they had ever been programed to believe. It was all upside down inside of me, and as a result, it was all wrong on the outside as well.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“I sensed his unwavering loyalty to me, and to our soldiers. He'd told me how proud he was to serve under the first female Van Doo officer, his overflowing enthusiasm evident in his smiling eyes.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Would you prefer to be a lion in charge of an army of sheep, or a lamb in charge of an army of lions?”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“For the first time since I joined the infantry, I didn't feel like a square peg trying to be squeezed into a round hole. WO Godin and this young instructor had adapted that hole to accommodate my corners. It was meant to be a joke, but what they had just done was to recognize my differences, and instead of trying to penalize the entire team in order to even out the playing field or worse yet, to force me to be what I could not be, they had embraced those differences.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“The perception is that we are just nurses. We are subject to the same discrimination you are, although perhaps on a different scale. There are a lot of people out there who think nurses are only good to patch up a few scratches, giggle cutely at their jokes, and provide them with a date pool.

Many times I'd heard the old adage "if you can't get a date, get a nurse: and despite shrugging it off as an immature comment, I had neither taken their defense nor considered the value these women brought to the table. They were intelligent, driven, and strong women, who we had slotted into a "too soft for serious consideration" category because of their nurturing side. And they were pretty, which muddied the seriousness waters too. How sad for us. By failing to share important information with them, we fell short of tapping into their full potential.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“It's okay to give what is yours to give. But there is a difference between what is yours to give, and what is yours to protect.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“This was how the weak built their illusion of power; a play of dominance by insignificant men trying to assert their position.

They are not trying to dominate the weak. They are trying to crush the strong and you pose a threat by who you are, and what you represent.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“How sad that I need armour to protect me from my own team, with whom I will be deploying to war in a few weeks.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“At some point I'm going to kick one of them in the nuts. It's getting closer and closer, I can feel it. I've done everything I can to fit in, but they are nasty, disgusting, sexist little men who need to learn that they can't treat people like this. If I were a guy we would have settled this a long time ago. Assholes.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“He promptly shared his views about women in the infantry. "It's nothing personal, but I don't believe women should be in the combat arms. However, I'm willing to give you a fair chance to prove me wrong. Good Luck."

That's kind of like throwing someone down in a twenty-foot trench and saying, "Okay, dig yourself out now, while I have the pleasure of watching you fail.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“If it was true that God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, then He must have thought I was Hercules.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Those who had given me the hard time had excelled in the course, and he was pleased to throw it in my face. The leadership qualities of those men had been recognized: they stood out because they were capable or rallying troops, executing complex battle maneuvers, and meticulously aligning each pawn with its mission.

However, the did all that while ridiculing and treating others with contempt, all under the perceptive glance of the instructors, gaining importance and standing despite obviously crushing others on their way to the top.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“It was unfortunate that my presence was so polarizing as to separate the platoon into those who resisted women in the infantry, and the others who would support the evolution of the workforce, but to this day I am forever grateful for my colleagues who were not only open-minded to the change I represented, but who actually stood by their convictions to champion that change at their own risk.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Before they could ask, I told them that yes, the course staff could see the lack of co-operation from my team, but not one of them was willing to do anything.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“The initial seeds of a culture shift were sown that night, in the army in general, but more importantly, in my own mind. It was a pivotal moment in my career as I tasted what it was like to have group cohesion, to have each other's backs, to be a part of something bigger than my own reach. I knew that one of the key arguments against women in combat had been that men would risk their own life to save the poor, weak and frail woman who was in danger. For some people this incident would confirm their philosophy when they learned an attack had been attempted to save me from my captors. Yet I knew that my teammates would have mounted the same attack for any other member of our platoon, and I am convinced I would have done the same for them.


It seemed clear to me that one doesn't decide to be brave only for a select few. The instincts that drive courage would enable a soldier to do the right thing regardless of who was on the receiving end of the act. Valour is valour. No one is unworthy of saving when it is the right thing to do.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“I was by no means a superwoman, and if I didn't wise up, I could end up being hurt permanently, perhaps even jeopardizing more than just my career only to prove a point.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Looking around, I aw that others in the platoon had relatively lighter loads. I wondered why they were insisting that I carry so much, but I'd learned earlier on that I was sometimes put though these tests of endurance out of curiosity about women, as if my actions represented those of every single other female out there and these ordeals would answer all the question they had about women in combat.

I'm not even sure what those questions entailed, but several obvious ones came to mind. Are they too weal to do the job? Will they break down? Will they balk and cry? Will they bitch? Ultimately, my actions would decide what their perceptions would be for years to come.

If I failed, all women would continually be expected to fail until proven otherwise, but unfortunately the opposite wasn't true. If I succeeded, it would only put a tiny dent in the amour of their arguments. And if I outright triumphed, well, then I would probably be just a bizarre freak exception to the rule.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“War doesn't happen by the book”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“They'd all be so happy that I was pregnant, even if it was the last thing I wanted. They would shower me with love and tiny baby slippers and "don't worry, it will all be wonderful once you see that little treasure" comments. They would tell me that in thirty years I would have nothing to show for it if I chose my career instead.

"Nothing to show for it," in their terms, meant children. If you chose a career, you'd end up alone. If you chose babies, you would have grandchildren. My sisters were investing in their future. I was investing in "nothing to show for it.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“They couldn't possibly understand why I would not want a baby. It was what we did, us good Catholic Perron girls. We were baby machines, my mother would say proudly, counting her precious grandchildren like winning lottery tickets.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“I wanted to be the one coming home to kids who had just finished taking their baths or completing their homework, the smell of homemade lasagna wafting through the air, and my spouse asking me how my day in the field had been and would I please take out the garbage before taking off my combat boots?

I wanted to be the husband.
I needed a wife.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“What do you want me to do about it? he asked with a tone that let me know he felt this was bothersome to him.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“Sadly, the fear of being perceived as a drama queen outweighed the fear of what an intruder could do to me should he gain access to my house. My survival instincts were drowned out by the need to not any additional attention to myself.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field

“You stand out out, Captain Perron. You are the perfect target to take down because just by being a woman doing the same things as all these men, you shame them. Worse yet, you are an even bigger target, because you're outstanding, and that makes them resent you even more.

I only seem outstanding because your expectations of me are so low.”
― Sandra Perron, Out Standing in the Field